A Mothers Roar

by Fay Barlow
(Lexington, Sc USA)

I have always been fascinated with family dynamics. So when I read Matthew 20:20-23 I just couldn't help but laugh a little.

Then the mother of Zebedee's sons came to Him with her sons, kneeling down and asking something from Him. And He said to her, "What do you wish?" She said to Him, "Grant that these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on the left, in Your kingdom."

But Jesus answered and said, "You do not know what you ask. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?"

They said to Him, "We are able."

So He said to them, "You will indeed drink My cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with; but to sit on My right hand and on My left is not Mine to give, but it is for those for whom it is prepared by My Father."

We are not given all the details of what went on during this conversation and what transpired in the life of the Zebedee family before this conversation. In fact, Mark 10:35-45 has a slightly different viewpoint. The concept is the same. Jesus' answer is the same, but the characters and the person/persons asking the all important question is different.

I guess it is true that different people will witness different events based on their own viewpoints.

But I just love the Matthew version because for me, it speaks volumes about the Zebedee family.
I'm not picking on them; well, maybe I am a little, but in doing so, I am also picking on myself.

One can say that a mother's love for her children will cause her to do or say all sorts of things. Some will say that high expectations are better than no expectations at all. And some may also say that to get ahead in this world, you have to stand out, be aggressive and fight for what you want. I guess it would all depend on what's at the end of your achievement rainbow.

Let me break this scene down.

The mother of James and John comes up to Jesus, kneels and ask Him to Grant her a wish. Just that scene alone makes me chuckle. Does she think Jesus is some sort of Jeannie? Has she talked with her sons recently to find out what's going on within the ministry, you know, the "Big Picture"? If she had done so, she may not have plowed her way to Jesus with her request. She must not have heard the few sentences that Jesus had just finished sharing with his disciples.

Here they are:

Now, Jesus going up to Jerusalem, took the twelve disciples aside on the road and said to them, "Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem and the Son of Man will be betrayed to the chief priests and to the scribes; and they will condemn Him to death, and deliver Him to the Gentiles to mock and to scourge and to crucify. And the third day He will rise again."

Oops!

But James and John heard those words.
So I can just imagine what it was like growing up in the Zebedee household. Keep in mind that this is my opinion only.

The father, Mr. Zebedee was a quiet content fisherman, but a successful one, as evident by his hired helpers mentioned in Mark 1:19-20 and the fact that you never hear a peep out of him as his sons jump ship and abandon the family business or see or hear him as his wife is planning the boys future.

I think Mr. Zebedee liked the quietness of the open water and the long hours out on the sea. And his plan for his sons was probably the same. In fact, the boys were mending their nets the first time they saw Jesus.

He spoke to them and they dropped everything to follow Him. They must have been itching for something different, maybe something away from home. After all, Mrs. Zebedee seemed to be a strong woman! A mother who possibly wanted so much more for her boys, and maybe herself.

And the two sons who were known as "The Son's of Thunder". I researched those words and found that thunder is referred to as "to roar". So, James and John must have been known for making a lot of noise and getting themselves heard. Yes, it is a proven fact that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

I can just see Mrs. Zebedee finding her sons and pulling them along as she makes her way to Jesus. And then in a grand gesture, falls clumsily at His feet as she roars her own request to secure her son's rightful place in Jesus' reign.

And as she asks the question, "Grant that these two sons of mine may sit--yada yada, yada, were James and John uncharacteristically silent, remembering the words spoken by Jesus.

Mocked? Scourged? CRUCIFY? I wonder if, at that moment, they felt like living up to their name and roaring at their mother to "Just shut up!"

Then Jesus asks THEM, not Mrs. Zebedee, but He turns to them, and ask them if they are able to drink the cup that He is about to drink, which, in a strange sort of way, gives me comfort that every choice is always the individuals, no matter how controlling a parent can be.

GULP?? Can you just hear the sound of their hearts racing? See the beads of sweat form on their foreheads. Can you imagine what they were thinking as the other disciples stood around, irritated that their mother would display such a scene, and these two boys, not entirely innocent of their own self advancement, had little choice in saying "Yes".

And a mother's love for her children. We think we know what is always best for our own. We think because we raised them and loved them, that we know what career path they should follow. We are convinced that if they would just listen to us and do all we say, that their lives would be so much better.

But we do those things and think those things only because we love our children. But sometimes our plans become pushes and OUR dreams are forced on our kids. In our attempts to make a better life for our kids, we can sometimes create a little of ourselves, the self that even we don't like, into our precious ones.

I was talking with my oldest son some years ago and telling him that I was praying for God's will to be done in his life. He said, "And that nothing will thwart it."

I thought that a funny word, "thwart". (He is an English graduate and loves words) I asked what it meant and he said, "That nothing would get in the way." To defeat the hopes or aspirations of, is the literal definition.

I realized then that that nothing also meant Me! I can pray for this or that for my kids but I have no idea what I may be praying into their lives. I have learned to Pray, "Lord that YOUR will be done in my boys lives and that nothing, especially me, would thwart your will."

I feel so sorry for Mrs. Zebedee. She probably had the best of intentions for her sons when she spoke to Jesus, but I wonder if her future thoughts went back to that day and if somewhere inside of her, she regretted asking the question.

You see, James and John both experienced and witnessed a type of persecution that no mother wants to know.

It is the deepest sort of love for a child when a mother can trust God with her babies more than she can trust herself.