After the rain, comes a rainbow.

by Latrina
(St. Petersburg Florida)

Years of being in and abusive realtionship with a man. Having to deal with the mental and physcial abuse, I felt as if know one love me not even God.I am from a family of 8 and the youngest.Never had a man around, so I looked for love from the wrong mens. I felt lost and confused. My daughter father kidnapped and beatten me to
the point, I thought of no return. I prayed that God would take me out that relationship, I thought that God didn't hear me.It took him going to prision in order for me to get out of that relationship.Two years later, I started datind another guy who I thought God had sent to me. Then he started cheating and lying, I realize that God would have never sentme a man like this. I had falled in love by this time and was afraid to leave him. Beacause of his cheating, I would have to go back and fourth to the doctors to be treated for sexual transmiited disease. I prayed that God release me from this pain. Although God reveal so many things to me I couldn't leave him. He began to have outside children, womens stalking me and i still stayed with him for 10 years.I thought atleast because he was paying all of the bills and I had eveything that I wanted I was ok. I wasn't ok my self-esteem was gone and I didn't realize it and I forgot all about Jesus. I began to pray and asked God to give me the strength to move on. Weeks later a man came and told me that, my boyfriend had been sleeping with his wife and that he had AIDS. I then falled to the ground and start crying as my daughter watch me.I began calling on the name of Jesus. (See whenever God need you to do his work, I know he will allow you to go through somethings). I then went to see a doctor to take and AIDS test. Waiting and praying that God will give me another chance at life. He did because of my test came back negative. I knew that this was God having mercey over me.I knew that I would have to leave this man a lone or I will die from sin. I had a hard time putting my faith in God, I began preparing myself to leave him. I had to lean on God promise that he would never leave me nor foresake me. During that time I brought a house and move into it without him.The day I moved in I found out that he had 2 more children and I knew this was God confirming that, he has something greater for me.I looked for love in all the wrong place.
Through it all, I knew how to pray but never would pray. I went into a depression and started to give up on life. I knew I had a daughter to raise but at that time, that wasn't enough to live.I lost my job and didn't know how I Was going to surive, again I doubt God. I remember God words Proverbs 3:5" Trust in THE lORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding.I knew that it was a reason that I was going through all of this.
I falled on my knees and begain to call on Jesus, I prayed and cried until I could pray/cry anymore.I found myself praying and asking God, will I ever find someone that will love me.When will I get a break on happinest. Not realizing that he loved me more, not realizing that he already spared my life. Months later I found a church home, I knew I Had to trust someone fully, why not trust in the word of the God. I learned to wait on the Lord and stop be in a rush. I learned to know if you ask for God well, you better be ready to deal with whatever God plans for you. My life started to change, I have a good relationship with him because I believe in Gods promises. I have a good job,a new car and i still have a roof over my head and I am in a Good Christian relationship. I learned how to count on him through the good and the bad.
I would like to share with you something that I just told a friend a few months ago." If God bless me any more, I wouldn't know what to do". This is a part of my story about after the rain is truly comes a rainbow.