Turning Your Ashes into Beauty... Being a Woman of Encouragement

by Debra Ann Elliott
(Birmingham, AL, USA)

Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. II Corinthians 1:4 NIV

God has a grand purpose for you. He turned your "ashes" into beauty. One of your "beauty's" from ashes is encouragement to others.

After an abortion you went through trials and tribulations and survived several journeys for a reason. You have been comforted in all your troubles and He wants you to comfort others who need encouragement through their "fires".

Two wonderful bible verses that will help you encourage other women is Job 16:5 and I Thessalonians 4:18. Both verses speak of encouragement through your words.

But my mouth would encourage you; comfort from my lips would bring you relief. Job 16:5 NIV

Therefore encourage one another with these words. I Thessalonians 4:18 NIV

You may not know what to say to a woman who is hurting and anguished, but you have to remember three things:

You have been there...
You feel her pain...
You understand...

Encouragement demands action.

You have already been there. You know what it feels like to experience a plethora of "out of control" emotions. Be sincere in your words. Sincerity is encouragement in action.

You have already felt pain. You have suffered and grieved through time. Be sensitive in your words. Sensitivity is encouragement in action.

You understand what other women are going through, because you have been in their shoes. You have felt despair and heartache. Be sypathetic in your words. Sympathy is encouragement in action.

The actions of sincerity, sensitivity, and sympathy can rescue a distraught woman from the end of her rope.

Let your "beauty" shine through the ashes. Be a great encourager.

In my next column I will delve deeper into how you can become a woman of compassion. I will show you how God took me from ashes into the beauty of compassion.

I want to thank you for continuing to post your comments and your favorite bible verses. I hope this new series will be a blessing to your life and bring you from the "ashes into beauty".

Be blessed,
Debra

© Debra Ann Elliott 2009

Turning Your Ashes into Beauty... Being a Woman of Knowledge

by Debra Ann Elliott
(Birmingham, AL, USA)

Those who have knowledge use words with restraint, and those who have understanding are even-tempered.
Proverbs 17:27 NIV

Last month I talked about being a woman of faith. Faith without knowledge is useless and knowledge without faith is void.

This month I will discuss how God wants us to become women of knowledge.

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight.
Philippians 1:9 NIV

God's prayer for us is that our love abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight. When we are knowledgeable in our faith and in our love we are able to grow in insight and communicate our words with restraint.

The beauty of knowledge is we don't judge in harshness. A woman who has the beauty of knowledge is even-tempered in her understanding as God commanded. She uses restraint in her words. She grows in her depth of insight.

It is clear from reading Proverbs 17:27 and Philippians 1:9 what you have to do to become a woman of knowledge.

God has written you specific instructions. You must follow His instructions to gain the beauty of knowledge.

We don't judge: A woman of knowledge does not judge in harshness. After my abortion I was judged with harshness and because of that I found I started judging others the same way. I lacked gentleness and patience. I turned my bitterness into harshness. Do not be a woman of bitterness and harshness. God requires of you a gentle and patience spirit.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 NIV

We are even-tempered: A woman of knowledge is even-tempered in her understanding. You are readied with the fruit of the Spirit. God bestowed upon you love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness and in return He expects a woman of knowledge to do the same for others. Your “job” is to understand with a loving heart, be joyful in your temperament, have a peaceful mind, have patience with others, show kindness in actions, have goodness in your soul, and be faithful in your walk with the Lord.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness.
Galatians 5:22 NIV

We use restraint: A woman of knowledge uses restraint in her words. When dealing with a woman who has had an abortion you must be cautious and careful in your words. Words can hurt or heal a woman's soul. God gave you the ability of speech and knowledge, but the way you use that gift is up to you. You have the power to control your actions, impulses,and emotions. You also have the power to control your words. I remember a ditty from childhood;”Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt” that's not true. Words do hurt and your words to the hurting must be considerate. You have to learn to think before you speak. God wants you to be kind. A woman of knowledge is very considerate of other's feelings and shows restraint in her words.

For in him you have been enriched in every way – with all kinds of speech and with all knowledge.
II Corinthians 1:5 NIV

We grow in depth of insight: A woman of knowledge grows in the depth of her insight. When God brought you from your “ashes” into your “beauty” He gave you knowledge of insight. For you to grow in your depth of insight and receive your knowledge you must be aware of one's mental and emotional condition. You have to remember that you once were there and God rescued you from the “fire”. Remember your purpose.

The purposes of the human heart are deep waters, but those who have insight draw them out. Proverbs 20:5 NIV

Over the past months you have learned to be a woman of faith and knowledge. You have also learned you can't have one without the other.

In my next column I will talk to you about becoming a woman of encouragement. Armed with what you have learned about faith and knowledge I will show you God's wonderful plan on rising from your “ashes” and becoming a woman of encouragement.

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it.
II Timothy 3:14 NIV

May the Lord bless and keep you in faith and knowledge,
Debra




© 2009 Debra Elliott

Turning Your Ashes into Beauty... Being a Woman of Compassion

by Debra Ann Elliott
(Birmingham, AL, USA)

When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, "Don't cry." Luke 7:13 NIV

This month I am going to discuss the beauty of compassion. We are going to delve deeper into the elements need to become a woman of compassion. It is what God commands from us.

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
I Peter 3:8 NIV

When I shared me thoughts on turning your "ashes" into the beauty of encouragement, I also talked about the elements of encouragement through action. Sincerity(being like-minded), symapathy(being sympathethic), and sensitivity(loving one another) are also significant elements in turning your "ashes" into the beauty of compassion.

Finding my beauty of compassion was not an easy task. My family had turned their back on me and I felt alone and ashamed. I forgot what compassion was because I was never shown compassion. I also forgot the Lord always shows compassion. He never leaves us. He is always there. He took me up from "ashes" into "beauty" through his never-ending compassion with sincerity in his words, sympathy in his actions, and sensitivity in his heart.

Sincerity, sympathy, and sensitivity are the greatest characteristics of a woman of compassion. You were given a wonderful gift. The Lord saw your "tears" and wiped away all pain so you could become a woman of compassion. You are blessed with sincerity, sympathy, and sensitivity and now you have the opportunity to wipe away the "tears" of another hurting woman.

I want us to look at each quality of compassion that replaced your "tears":

Sincerity in words: May God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had. Romans 15:5 NIV

Romans 15:5 tells us God has already given you endurance and encouragement to withstand any circumstance, so we may have the same attitude toward others as Jesus has toward us. Our attitude toward women who have an abortion should be that of sincerity. We should be sincere in our words. Do everything with an attitude of Jesus.
Be a sincere woman of compassion. Be like-minded!

Sympathy in actions: Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.
I John 3:18 NIV

God tells us in I John 3:18 not to love with words, but with our actions and to do so in honesty. You've heard the saying 'actions speak louder than words' and in the case of a woman who's has an abortion that is very truw. A woman who has emotional scars needs to see and feel your sympathy. She's battered and bruised and crying out in pain for loves honest touch. Do everything with actions and truth.
Be a sympathetic woman of compassion. Be sympathetic!

Sensitivity in hearts: I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 11:19 NIV

In Ezekiel 11:19, God brought you out of your "ashes" and put a new spirit in your heart. He turned your "heart" from stone to flesh. He gave you "new life" so you may give others "new life." Do everything with an undivided heart and a new spirit.
Be a sensitive woman of compassion. Love one another!

Remember you ARE a woman of encouragement and compassion. Next month we'll talk about what it takes to become a woman of strength.

I look forward to sharing my thoughts and advice with you. God is leading my hand so I can share with you my experiences from the fire and ashes into the beauty that came from a tragic circumstance.

Be blessed,
Debra

©2009

God's Purpose for You ... Heal the Broken

by Debra Ann Elliott
(Birmingham, AL, USA)

I am forgotten as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery. Psalms 31:12 NIV

You were once a broken clay pot. Your soul shattered; broken into tiny shards, but God fixed you creating a work of beauty.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18 NIV

Your soul is no longer dead. Your spirit no longer crushed. He "mended" you to use in healing the broken.

You were mended through your faith. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6 NIV.

Your faith was tested over time. But you turned your heart toward the Lord and rewarded a mended soul. Your purpose is to "mend" the broken with faith.

A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 AMP.

Two elements of faith are happy heartsand cheerful minds.

A happy heart is good medicine. In faith your heart has joy, peace and thanksgiving. Give the broken comfort with joy, meaning with peace and the Lord with thanksgiving.

You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. II Corinthians 9:11 NIV.

A cheerful mind heals. In faith your mind is cheerful with happiness, reassurance and inspiration. Give the broken happiness with a smile, reasurrance with a hug and hope through God's inspiration.

By this we shall come to know (perceive, recognize , and understand)that we are of the Truth, and can reassure(quiet, conciliate, and pacify) our hearts is His presence. I John 3:19 AMP.

You were mended through His forgiveness. But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you. Psalms 130:4 NIV.

You doubted forgiveness. But God forgave you so you could serve Him with reverence. Your purpose is to "mend" the broken with forgiveness.

But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect. I Peter 3:15 NIV.

Two elements of forgiveness are gentlenessand respect.

A gentle soul can forgive any transgressions. In forgiveness you have gentleness with kindness, responsiveness and mercy. Give the broken benevolence with kindness of speech, responsiveness in listening and the mercy of God.

It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His tender compassions fail not. Lamentations 3:22 AMP.

A respectful soul honors God. In forgiveness you have respect with regard, veneration and praise. Give the broken humble regard, utmost veneration and the praise of God.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17 NIV.

Remember God's purpose for you is to heal the broken through a happy heart and a cheerful smile doing so with gentleness and respect.

Have happiness in your heart and a cheer in your smile.

Until next month be blessed,
Debra


©2009 Debra Ann Elliott

God's Purpose for You... Harbor the Lost

by Debra Ann Elliott
(Birmingham AL)

The name of the LORD is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. Proverbs 18:10 NIV

Turn to the Lord...
For He is always there

When there's no one around
and you've lost your ground...
turn to the Lord;
For He is always there.

When you're burdened and pained
and your joy has wained...
turn to the Lord;
For He is always there.

When you can't go on
and you feel alone...
turn to the Lord;
For He is always there.

When you are confused
and you are bruised...
turn to the Lord;
For He is always there.

When your soul fades
and you are staid...
turn to the Lord;
For He is always there.

When you forget hope
and cannot cope...
turn to the Lord;
For He is always there.

Turn to the Lord...
He never falters or fails
He is the wind upon your sails
For He is always there...

Like most women who have gone through the trauma of an abortion I got lost. I lost myself in an emotional forest of feelings. I could not find my way out of despair and melancholy. It came to the point where I was lost in a world of depression.

God found me and brought me out of the deep. He showed me the way through courage and my "ship" was destroyed.

But now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not one of you will be lost, only the ship will be destroyed. Acts 27:22 NIV

Why? We all have been "lost" at some point in our life. For me, I have been lost more times to count and God has always rescued me through His Word.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Proverbs 6:23 AMP

He has a purpose for me as He does you. He wants you to rescue the "lost" and become a great harbor.

A harbor gives shelter to those who are lost. It is a fortified tower. It is the LORD! You can become a harbor through your strength and courage.

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. I Timothy 1:12 NIV

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 NIV

He gave you strength: When you were "lost" God took your weakness and turned it into a great strength. Without the love of God you could not find your way. He led the way, so you could lead the way for others who are lost.

The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Psalms 18:2 KJV

You have to become a rock, a fortress, and a deliverer of the lost. You have to become their strength and their high tower. You have to become their harbor.

He considers you trustworthy: After you were "found" God knew He could count on you. He knew that you would not "wander" away from His Word and become "lost" again. He gave you the opportunity to serve Him and be a person He could trust.

The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7 NIV

Just as you trust in the Lord to be your refuge in times of trouble, He trust you to become a lost souls's refuge in their time of trouble. He trust you to become their safe harbor.

He appointed you to serve: One of your main purposes is to serve the Lord. When you commit your time and effort to serving Him you cannot become "lost".
"Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning," Luke 12:35 NIV

He commands of you to be "dressed" and ready for service. He tells us to keep our lamps burning. We are to be dressed in faith and strength so we can serve others who are lost. Our lamps need to burn continuously. We must shine in love with a servants heart if we are to be a harbor for the lost.

He commands of you to be strong and courageous: To provide a safe haven for the lost you cannot falter or fail in your walk with God. You cannot be discouraged or afraid. When you are serving the lost you are serving the Lord.
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. I Corinthians 16:13 NIV

You are to be on your guard: You are to never let your guard down if you are to help a "lost" soul.

You are to stand firm in your faith: Your faith has seen you through every situation that has come your way. A lost soul's faith may be faltering and waining. Show them the way. Let them know that you care and the Lord loves them.

You are to be courageous and strong: A lost soul looks to a courageous and strong person to help them find their way. They are going through despair and melancholy. They may already be depressed or on the brink of depression. God found you when you were "lost" and gave you courage and strength to get through it all because He never left you. He is everywhere you go. He knew when you were lost. He knows other people who have had an trauma in their lives are lost and He is there waiting to help them find their way.

Be on your guard, firm in faith, courageous and strong for the "lost" need a harbor from the storms of despair and the aftermath they will suffer.

This is the last article I will share with you on the difficult subject of abortion. I believe the Lord has used me to help you find your way when you were broken, hurt and lost. It is His purpose for you to serve Him in all capacities in healing the broken, helping the hurting and harboring the lost.

Never lose site of your purpose.

God is with you everywhere you go: He is a Beacon

He is a beacon...
shining bright;

Jesus Christ is your beacon...
in your plight.

He is a beacon...
guiding you through the night.

Jesus Christ is your beacon...
your everlasting light.

In conclusion, be strong in the Lord (be empowered through your union with Him); draw your strength from Him. Ephesians 6:10 AMP

May my words continue to bless you,
Debra Ann



© Debra Ann Elliott 2010

After Abortion ...The Journey of Self-Contentment

by Debra Elliott
(Birmingham, AL, USA)

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain, for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:4


These past few months we have traveled over rocky roads and uncharted territory to the end of our journey. I've talked with you about the journeys of self-healing, self-forgiveness, self-value, self-respect, and self-confidence. The reason I chose the order of our journeys was purposeful.

I started out with the journey of self-healing. I chose it first because without healing your body, mind, and soul you could not forgive yourself.

Then I talked about self-forgiveness. When you forgive yourself you are able to find value within yourself.

Self-value covered self-esteem and self-worth and without either you have no self-respect.

On our last two journeys I talked about self-respect and self-confidence. Self-respect and self-confidence take us on our last journey together: self-contentment.

To be content with your life and where you are with yourself, you have had to experienced all the journeys after an abortion.

On this journey I want to cover eleven steps that helped me overcome any doubts I had about myself and I know will help you as well.

The steps are simple and through God's wisdom and inspiration are found in the word "contentment".

Cast your cares unto the Lord.

Overcome your fears.

Not lose hope.

Trust in the Lord.

Encourage others.

Nothing is impossible.

Triumph over obstacles.

Mending your heart.

Everyday counts.

Never look back.

Throw away the past.


Cast your cares unto the Lord: Casting all your cares upon Him; for He careth for you. I Peter 5:7

When you cast all of your doubts, fears and hopelessness unto the Lord you are able to move on. You can begin to live your life to the fullest and experience the joy God wants for you.


Overcome your fears: Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth, And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore. Isaiah 54:4

When you are able to overcome any fears left over from the past you can become strong and will no longer feel unsure of anything.


Not lose hope: For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth. Psalm 71:5

Remember you cannot lose hope. Hope is what sustains you through the tribulations and turmoil after an abortion. Hope gives you strength and courage to press forward.

Trust in the Lord: Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Trust after an abortion is a major key in renewing your life. Without trust you cannot grow and thrive. The Lord already knows what you've gone through and what you are going through. You have to trust Him to see you through any storms that come your way.


Encourage others: Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. I Thessalonians 5:11

When I am discouraged and in despair I find one of the best ways to crawl out of self-pity is to encourage others. Encouragement is a great hope builder. You can give others hope because you have already been there. Be a great encourager to others in your walk after an abortion. It helps you as well!

Nothing is impossible: I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Through the Lord you can do all things. You can heal yourself, you can forgive yourself, you are a person of value. You can respect yourself and gain your confidence back because nothing is impossible with the Lord.

Triumph over obstacles: The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I look in triumph on my enemies. Psalm 118:7

The Lord is always with you, he is your helper when you stumble and fall over obstacles. Obstacles will always be there, but you can be triumphant over the shackles of the past and break through all obstacles.

Mending your heart: The troubles of my heart are enlarged; Bring me out of my distresses. Psalm 25:17

Your heart is heavy with burdens of your past and you are suffering. I have been there. My heart was troubled with distress and troubles of my past, but I turned to Psalm 25:17 which became my beacon in the rescue of my heart. To go forward you have to mend your heart and find contentment within your soul.

Everyday counts: So, remove grief and anger from your heart and out away pain from your body, because childhood and the prime of life are fleeting. Ecclesiastes 11:10

Everyday of your life counts! Do not store away grief and anger. You are somebody. You have purpose, you have worth. God sees only the best in you.

Never look back: Listen, my son, and be wise, And direct your heart in the way. Proverbs 23:19

What happened is gone, long forgiven. Keep yourself focused on today. Do not ponder on "what if's" or "why's".

Throw away the past: Forget what happened in the past, and do not dwell on events from long ago. Isaiah 43:18

The last statement says it all; "throw away your past". You have come far in your journey and have forged on toward being content in your life. If you hang on to the past you will never be content. You cannot go back and change what happened to you. You can only move forward in your new life, a life of forgiveness, a life of joy, and a life of contentment.


I want to thank all who read my columns and left heart-felt comments and their favorite bible verses. I leave you with the hope I was able to help those who have gone through an abortion as I did many years ago.


Remember, the journey after abortion really does not end. You are always stopping to find your way when lost.


I want to leave you with one final thought: Always turn to the Lord for comfort and guidance. He is your road map through the journey after abortion.


Starting next month look for my new column "God Delights in You...Turning Your "Ashes" into Beauty".

In this new series of articles I will share with you how you can become the woman God intended even after "going through the fire".

Be blessed and press onward,

Debra

© Debra Elliott 2009

Turning Your Ashes into Beauty... Being a Woman of Wisdom

by Debra Ann Elliott
(Birmingham, AL, USA)

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. James 3:13 NIV

Like the elegant beauty of the iris you represent faith, hope, and wisdom for a woman who is suffering sorrow and grief.

With wisdom comes understanding and opportunity. The understanding circumstances can change and the opportunity you can change your circumstances.

The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Proverbs 4:7 NIV

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Colossians 4:5 NIV

God gives you the understanding. Wisdom gives you the opportunity to help those who sorrow and grieve.

In Ecclesiastes 1:18 He points this out to us: For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief. NIV

You have suffered much sorrow and much grief to get to where you are today. You have been rescued from the ashes and brought to beauty by the Lord. He gave you sorrow,he gave you grief and He gave you knowledge so you could become a woman of wisdom.

Be wise... Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise. Ephesians 5:15 NIV

Be understanding... Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding. Proverbs 3:13 NIV

Be humble... In your relationships with one another, have the same attitude of mind Christ Jesus had. Philippians 2:5 NIV

I look forward to your comments and thoughts of blessings. I also look forward to sharing my thoughts with you next time on becoming a woman of hope.

Be a beautiful woman of wisdom,

Debra

©2009 Debra Ann Elliott

Turning Your Ashes into Beauty... Being a Woman of Strength

by Debra Ann Elliott
(Birmingham, AL, USA)

It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure. Psalm 18:32 NIV


Last month we discovered the characteristics of becoming a woman of compassion. In this column I am going to talk to you about the makeup of a woman of strength.

A woman of strength is courageous.

God commands of us in Joshua 1:9 to be strong and courageous; not to be afraid or dismayed. He tells us He is with us always.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." NIV

It takes courage to have been where you were and that courage comes from the "fire" you have gone through.

A woman of strength had dignity.

God tells us in Proverbs 31:25 we are clothed with strength and dignity.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25 NIV

You can hold your head high. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You can "laugh" at the days to come.

A woman of strength has power.

He gives strength to the weary and increases our power. Isaiah 40:29 NIV

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31 NIV

Isaiah chapter 40 is God's best laid plan for us to increase our power and renew our strength.

When we are weary; He gives us strength and increases our power. He renews our strength because we have hope. He gives us the ability to soar on wings like eagles to lead the weary and heal the broken.

God sees a woman of strength burning deep within the embers of your ashes. He wants your beauty to emerge. You can be courageous, dignified, and powerful. You can be a woman of strength!

I have grown in my strength just by sharing my thoughts with you.

YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN OF STRENGTH!

In my next column I am going to talk about becoming a woman of wisdom.

I look forward to sharing my thoughts on the topic of God's plan for you on how YOU need to become a woman of wisdom.

I look forward to your thoughts as well. I would love to hear from you on where you are in your walk out of the ashes and into beauty.

Be blessed,
Debra

After Abortion... The Journey of Self-Value

by Debra Elliott
(Birmingham AL USA)

When I sat down at my computer to write this column, I had no idea where our journey would take us this month. We have explored the journeys of self-healing and self-forgiveness.

After reading your comments and pondering all the many facets of abortion and the many different meanings it may have for you, I decided to write about the journey of self-value.

Let me ask you, What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see a reflection of an unknown person? That's what I saw for many years. I saw myself as an unknown person, one who did not have worth or esteem. I was missing the body, mind & spirit balance. I was missing the two aspects of self- value: self-worth and self-esteem.

After an abortion it's easy to “beat yourself up” as I did. You will deal with a quagmire of emotions.

One of those emotions is guilt. Guilt will worm its way into your body, mind, and spirit destroying your self-value. Guilt will make you feel worthless. You will lose your esteem.

I have been there. I was riddled with guilt for many years. I couldn't look at myself in a mirror. I was unworthy. I had no esteem. My body, mind, and spirit were destroyed by something I did. I was living in instant re-play. I couldn't turn it off.

You have to remind yourself that you have nothing to feel guilty about. What happened to you is in the past. You are already forgiven. There is nothing to feel guilty for.

Then Jesus said to the woman, "Your sins are forgiven!"
(Luke 7:48)ISV

Another emotion that can tear us apart is fear. Fear can devour your body,soul,and mind twisting the truth. Fear will lead you down a path of “I'm not worthy” and take away your self-esteem.

Right after my abortion I feared getting pregnant again, starting new relationships, telling my husband about my abortion. I feared telling the truth about my circumstance. I let fear consume me. I hid within myself. I became a living shell. Fear can become a battle that we cannot win. It can become our mainstay.

You have to take a cue from David in Psalm 27:1;
The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Do not let guilt and fear take away your self-worth and your self-esteem. Always remember YOU HAVE VALUE in the eyes of the Lord.

It has been a great honor and pleasure to write this column. Your comments and bible verses have been a constant reminder that the Lord is with us always.

It is my goal to help you over hurdles and through the fire after an abortion.

I look forward to hearing from you as we go through our journeys together.

Be blessed,
Debra



Comments:



by: Debra Elliott

Thank you Helen for you comments. I enjoy getting the feedback.
Blessings,
Debra



by: Helen

Hi wanted to let you know that was very good article.You do such a nice job of expressing yourself.



by: Anonymous

THIS IS A VERY GOOD COLUMN, I BET IT WAS HARD ON YOU BUT MY GOD FORGIVES. YOU RIGHT WONDRFUL ARTICLES. YOU SHOLD BE PROUD OF YOURSELF FOR THE TALTENT THAT THE LORD GAVE YOU.....THANKS FOR SHAREING.........HUGS TO YOU.......MAUDIE




by: Debra Elliott

Thank you Toni for your heart-felt comments. It hs been a true blessing for me to help others through my words and the word of God.

Blessings,
Debra



by: Toni

Wonderful article on forgiveness and God's grace! Your words reminded me of the great 'Source' we have in our Lord and how with His love, forgiveness and power, we need not fear anything or anyone...

I especially like your words, "You have to take a cue from David in Psalm 27:1;
The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

Wonderful article and thank you for sharing..

Toni

After Abortion... The Journey of Self-Respect

by Debra Elliott
(Birmingham AL USA)

In my previous column I wrote about the journey of self-value and one of the essential components of self-value is self-respect.

My journey of self-respect had been the most difficult journey I went through after my abortion and I hope my words can help you learn to respect yourself.

Without respecting yourself you cannot move forward in the healing and forgiveness process.

(Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance.) Jude 1:2 NIV

Self-respect includes showing yourself mercy. Mercy does not come natural to most of us and it's even harder to justify after an abortion. After my abortion I criticized my every thought or action. I did not act with mercy toward myself.

(Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.) Lamentations 3:22 NIV

If the Lord can show mercy in all we have done, then we should not have any laments toward ourselves.

Self-respect also includes peace. Finding peace is like trying to fill a void deep within yourself. You will feel empty until you have peace of mind and peace within your soul. The peace you need to seek has already been laid out for you in John 14:27 (Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.)

The Lord wants you to have inner peace. Without that peace you can never respect yourself.

Finally for you to have self-respect you have to have love for yourself. Love is the key element in self-respect without it you cannot have mercy or peace.

(I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.) Psalm 31:7 NIV

God has already seen your affliction and knows the anguish of your soul and His love for you never ceases, nor should your love for yourself.

In closing I want to remind you self-respect is like a jigsaw puzzle. You have to have all the pieces to complete the puzzle. Without love there is no peace and without peace there is no mercy and without all three you cannot have self-respect for yourself.

In my next column I am going to take you on the journey of self-confidence. Each journey you have gone through has a deeper purpose than we can see. Each layer of the journey after abortion takes on different meanings for each of us, but one common thread that each one has is the road that leads to self-confidence.

I look forward to sharing my thoughts and my journey of self-confidence with you next month. I also look forward to your thoughts and bible verses each month.


Be blessed,
Debra










© 2009 Debra Elliott

After Abortion... The Journey of Self-Confidence

by Debra Elliott
(Birmingham, AL, USA)

In my prior column I talked about self-respect and the commonality of each journey that we have taken together. The reason I chose the order of our journeys was to bring you on one of the most hard-fought journey's you'll ever experience after an abortion.

This month we are going to take the journey of self-confidence.

Self-confidence is a struggle for me daily and possibly always will be. I am learning that self-confidence is one of my longest journey's and the most treacherous journey I will take.

Finding self-confidence is not easy. You can get bogged down by many different emotions on this journey.

One of those emotions is detachment and not looking at your inner beauty. After an abortion you tend to look at your outward self. All you can see is ugliness. I did for many years and sometimes still do. I have to constantly remind myself there is “beauty from ashes.”

Women who have had an abortion feel charred, but don't realize in God's sight they are beautiful.

A good example of “beauty from ashes” comes from I Peter 3:4: (Rather, beauty is something internal that can't be destroyed. Beauty expresses itself in a gentle and quiet attitude which God considers precious.)GOD'S WORD® Translation

Believe in your inner beauty! A verse that will help you gain your inner beauty self-confidence is Hebrews 10:35.

This verse tells us not to throw away our confidence.(So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.)

Do not throw away your inner beauty. Have confidence in the beauty within yourself. The Lord has already richly rewarded your inner beauty by taking your "ashes" and turning them into beauty.

Another self-confidence blocker is oppression. Having a sense of being weighed down in body and mind can take a heavy toll on your self-confidence.

In Job 11:18 God directs to us feel confident because there is hope.(And you shall be secure and feel confident because there is hope; yes, you shall search about you, and you shall take your rest in safety.)

You will face hopeless situations and yes, you will have to search deep within yourself to find your self-confidence, but you can rest securely and safely in God's refuge and feel confident about yourself.

There are many challenges ahead of you on the journey of self-confidence, but when you turn to the Lord you can accomplish your final result.

Though a host encamp against me, My heart will not fear; Though war arise against me, In spite of this I shall be confident. Psalm 27:3

Over the past few months our journeys have taken us down many paths and self-contentment will take us to the end of our journey. Finding self-contentment after an abortion can be achieved using our previous journeys as road maps. I will show you all the steps needed to attain your self-contentment.

But even though self-contentment will be our last “journey” together, I am not leaving you alone. Our journeys will never truly be over. I have been thoroughly blessed by your thoughts, your heart-felt words, and your favorite bible verses.

I have always looked forward to sharing my words with you. God chose to take me down a rocky path to help others that have been in my shoes. I will always feel grateful that I am blessed with that honor.

Until next time and the journeys to come...

Be blessed,
Debra

Turning Your Ashes into Beauty... Being a Woman of Hope

by Debra Ann Elliott
(Birmingham, AL, USA)

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. Romans 15:4 NIV

Are you a woman of hope? God did not bring you out of ashes into beauty to be hopeless. Hope is deep within you. It is anchored to your soul by endurance and encouragement.

We have this hope as in an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. it enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtian. Hebrews 6:19 NIV

Hope enters your soul through endurance. Hope is anchored to your soul by the trials you have gone through and steadfastness in your faith. You have never given up. You have had patience you would come through the "fire".

Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. James 1:5 AMP

Hope enters your soul through encouragement. Hope is anchored to your soul by the encouragement of Jesus Christ.

Who comforts us in every trouble, so that we may also be able to comfort those who are in any kind of trouble or distress, with the Lord so your heart will be glad, your tongue will rejoice and your soul will rest in hope. II Corinthians 1:4 AMP

Your endurance and encouragement are your hope. Both come form the Lord so your heart will be glad, your tongue will rejoice and your soul will rest in hope.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest in hope. Acts 2:26 NIV

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Psalms 62:5 NIV

Over the past months we have looked at what God has done for us. He brought us up out of the ashes into the beauty of faith, knowledge, encouragement, compassion, strength, wisdom and hope.

Without faith you would not have knowledge, without knowledge you would not have encouragement, without encouragement you would not have compassion, without compassion you would not have strength, without strength you would not have wisdom and without wisdom you would not have hope.

Faith, knowledge, encouragement, compassion, strength, wisdom and hope are YOUR character. God has given you each of these characteristics for a purpose. He wants you to be a woman of character!

In my next column I will talk to you about being a woman of character and what you have to do to become that woman.

Be blessed in all the Lord has given you,
Debra

After Abortion ...The Journey of Self-Forgiveness

by Debra Elliott
(Birmingham AL USA)

For You, O Lord, are good, and ready to forgive and You are abundant in mercy and loving-kindness to all those who call upon You. Psalm 86:5


In my last column I talked about the journey of self-healing and part of that journey includes self-forgiveness.

Forgiveness is the first step to healing and one of the toughest aspects of the healing process that you will experience.

I am still trying to find self-forgiveness. It is the number one countenance that constantly nags at my soul and I want to help you face the most difficult hurdle that you will have to overcome.

On this very challenging journey I have realized that to forgive one's self you have to ask to be forgiven and seek forgiveness.

The "what ifs" or "whys" will always be there in your mind and heart if you do not seek self-forgiveness.

Days, weeks, months, and years pass, but time stands still and focuses on that very millisecond that your life changed forever.

The "forgiveness factor", as I like to call it, is your minds way of not letting go of your heart so you can heal.

I am reminded of the saying "time heals all wounds", but that's not true of everyone. For those of us who have had an abortion our "wounds" cannot be healed without self-forgiveness.

A guiding scripture that has helped me to overcome my "wounds" and to heal is Psalm 147:3(He healeth the broken in heart,and bindeth up their wounds.)

Before you can move forward in your innermost private journey, you have got to forgive yourself. The doubts and the questions will
forever play havoc on your mind and in your soul if you hang on to the guilt and (NOT) forgive yourself.

I want to encourage and support you, and the Bible has become my greatest refuge in the forgiveness process. It is my shelter from distress, where I have found comfort during my journey.

One of my favorite passages from the Bible is Matthew 7:7-8;

(Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.)

When you are feeling discouraged and you cannot find self-forgiveness, remember that the Lord is always with you.

As I close this article I want to leave you with these thoughts:

TRUST in the LORD
BELIEVE in YOURSELF
SHARE your EMOTIONS

Thank you for your heart-felt thoughts and comments on my last column. I deeply enjoyed reading your favorite bible verses also.

It is my hope that we can encourage each other through the intimate fellowship of my words and I look forward to your thoughts and favorite bible verses as we travel on the long journey ahead.

Blessings,
Debra

After Abortion...The Journey of Self-Healing

by Debra Elliott
(Birmingham AL)

The years have slowly tick-tocked away and still I have not found the solacement needed for my journey of self-healing.

I constantly find myself as I am sure other women who have suffered and survived through an abortion; planned or unplanned pondering the reality of what actually happened to me, to my body some thirty years ago.

In my personal journey of self-healing I have dealt with that reality in many different ways to block the memories.

I wanted to forget those painful memories forever seared in my mind, burned into my soul.

I turned to drugs, one of the most common areas that many young women who have experienced an abortion do to tune out the pain, the memories.

Drugs are a quick fix and only temporarily block the pain and the reality. Drugs were not my answer, nor should not be a solution to a woman's journey of self-healing.

Throughout my years of my most painful, personal journey I have learned to express my feelings in writing. I have found that writing is a good release of all the pent up emotions that a woman stores inside herself after an abortion.

I have written many pieces on abortion and how I have coped, but my journey is not complete, nor may never be.

As a Christian woman who has experienced an abortion, the most meaningful part of my journey of self-healing has been the bible.

The Word of God has brought comfort to my hurt.
Let the Word of God be your strength, your solace, your comfort in your journey of self-healing.

Until next time remember:

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.
(Psalm 46:1-3)

Please send me your thoughts and any bible verses that have helped you on your journey. We are all in this journey together.

God's Purpose for You... Help the Hurting

by Debra Ann Elliott
(Birmingham, AL, USA)

Woe is me for my hurt! my wound is grievous; but I said, Truly this is a grief, and I must bear it.
Jeremiah 10:19 KJV

You have hurt! You suffered, you grieved, you wearied, but you endured in continued strength and courage.

Why? Because God has a purpose for you. He let you suffer, grieve and be weary so you could grow in strength and courage to help the hurting.

For thus says the Lord: Your hurt is incurable and your wound is grievous. Jeremiah 30:12 AMP

There are three constants in a hurting woman's life:

suffering

grief

weariness

Only three things can change these unchangeable mainstays in a hurting woman's life;strength,courage,and prayer.

God tells us to be steadfast and patient in our suffering and tribulations. We must exult in hope and be constant in prayer.

Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer.
Romans 12:12 AMP

When you rejoice in hope you can give the hurting strength to be steadfast in their suffering.

When you are constant in your prayer you give the hurting courage to be patient in their tribulations.

In all this you have greatly rejoiced, you did suffer grief in your trials, but you came out strong through your courage.

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6 NIV

You survived all your suffering and grief to give hope to the weary. Prayer took away your burdens.

Be a constant in a hurting woman's life. Give them rest through your strength, courage, and prayer.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 NIV

It has been an honor to serve you through the Word of God and help you through many journeys, fires, and where you are now in your life.

In my next article I will cover God's Purpose for You...Harbor the Lost.

I pray my words have helped you find your purpose...

© Debra Gray Elliott 2010

Turning Your Ashes into Beauty... Being a Woman of Character

by Debra Ann Elliott
(Birmingham, AL, USA)

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:1-4 NIV

The past few months I have talked with you about your "beauty" and what God expects from you. The qualities we studied make your character.

Faith, knowledge, encouragemant, compassion, strength, wisdom and hope are your "character builders."

Faith is the beginning of your character building. It has seen you through many storms and built up your resistance to suffering. You are justified through faith and have peace with the Lord.

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1 NIV

With knowledge you have built up self-control in your character.

And to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness. II Peter 1:6 NIV

Encouragement built up your self-esteem. It weaves faith and knowledge into the remaining builders of character. Without encouragement you would have drown in self-pity.

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope. II Thessalonians 2:16 NIV

Without faith, knowledge and encouragement you could not have compassion. Compassion holds your character together. A good message from the bible to follow regarding your character of compassion is Philippians 5:1-5(1 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion 2 Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves 4 Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 5 In your relationships with one another, have the same attitude of mind Christ Jesus had) NIV

Strength is your character. You persevered, you did not falter in defeat. Your character grew from weakness into strength through your faith,knowledge, encouragement, and compassion. You have stayed strong in the Lord and through your beliefs.

In conclusion, be strong in the Lord be empowered through your union with Him; draw your strength from Him that strength which His boundless might provides. Ephesians 6:10 AMP

Wisdom is another important builder of your character. You must have wisdom to move forward in all you do. Two verses to remember is James 1:5 and Ephesians 1:8. Both verses tell us turn to God to find our character of wisdom. You cannot move in your character without it.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5 NIV

That he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding. Ephesians 1:8 NIV

Hope is one of the most important builders of character. Without hope you are an absent soul. Without hope you have no future.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Take your faith add to it knowledge, encouragement, compassion, strength, wisdom, and hope and build your character from the “ashes” into the “beauty” of a woman of character.

I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance, and that you are now doing more than you did at first. Revelation 2:19 NIV

You have survived many journeys, you have walked through the fire, you have been brought out of ashes into beauty for a purpose. God has a grand purpose for you.

The New Year is aproaching fast and you will have a new beginning, a new life and a new purpose all with the love of God.

In the New Year I will share God's purpose for you in a three part series related to your journeys and your beauty.

May you be blessed in the New Year.

Many blessings,

Debra

Chasing Demons

by Debra Elliott
(Birmingham AL)

“Roe v. Wade” changed my life forever. That critical decision made January 22nd 1973,opened up many different pathways for many women from all walks of life; myself included.

I had never thought about what the decision really meant, at the time I was only twelve, but almost four years later I would experience it first hand.

The year was 1976. The month and day: November 4th. I was fifteen. That was the year “Roe v. Wade changed my life indelibly. The painful, horrific memories are forever seared in my mind, thoughts, and soul.

I was fifteen, technically a teenager; but still a child. I made several unforgivable mistakes(in my mind anyway) that led to that fateful day over thirty years ago.

I wasn't getting the Christian love that I needed and so desperately wanted. I was vulnerable; letting anyone talk me into anything.

I turned to drugs and sex for love and attention. I got plenty of both and got pregnant.

I was petrified and turned to my mother for help. That aspect was a mistake. My mother was an alcoholic and she and her boyfriend mistreated me. She was forced to turn me over to the state.

Thus, began the day I started chasing demons.

My life took a terrifying turn, spiraling out of control. I didn't have any rights and had no say so about what I wanted, about my body or my baby.

I, like so many young girls, was forced to have an abortion.

I will never forget that day. I still see everything so vividly. I was nine weeks pregnant and in 1976 abortions were performed haphazardly so to speak.

The day before my abortion I was taken to the doctor and had a “seaweed” stick inserted into my uterus. The purpose of this device was to make me have contractions. It was painful.

The day of my abortion I have tried to block out my memories, but cannot. I cannot forget the cold metal where I lay, the baby sucked from my womb.

I am still chasing my “abortion” demons. I cannot forgive myself for what I did. I know that God has forgiven me.

But one of the things I have come to learn over time, is no matter what has happened to me over the years that I will always chase my personal demons. That will never go away.

I went on to marry and have other children, but the memory haunts me if my unknown baby would have been a girl or a boy. I cannot sit through church without gushing tears and remembering my experience.

I wonder why so many women are “pro choice” instead of “pro life”?

I cannot go back and change what happened to me, but I can write about my experiences through my poetry in the hope that I can change lives, even if it's only one life.


Comments:



by: Anonymous

It's evil that keeps reminding you of your past. It dose this to keep you down. Pray for the Lord to help you chase this evil away!, He will help you do this! God Bless You



by: chris b

Great message!



by: Anonymous

God has forgiven you. Forgive yourself, it does not do any good to rehash it over and over in your mind. Don't let the enemy let you feel like this, let God's peace enter that broken part of your soul and heal it for good. God bless you and I will pray for you.



by: Ann

By your words you are indeed, changing and helping lives! Let go of the guilt and give it totally to God, for He understands and has forgiven you. You have come through many difficult and stressful times; now it's time for you to be cleansed of this guilt and move on with what God has in store for you. With his help and grace, you will do many good things!

And remember, no one on this earth is devoid of sin...As Christ once said so long ago, "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone."

Blessings,

Ann

Turning Your Ashes into Beauty... Being a Woman of Faith

by Debra Elliott
(Birmingham AL USA)

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)


God delights in you! He brought you through many arduous journeys.

Do you ever wonder how you made it through those journeys? How you rose up out of the "fire"?

I wonder all the time how I came through my journeys and became the woman I am today. The only answer that comes to mind is faith.

God brought me out of my "ashes" into beauty because He loves me unconditionally, but also because of my faith. I survived all of my difficult journeys with unyielding faith.

He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.
Mark 5:34 (NIV)

Because you have gone through extreme confusion and unrest your faith has been tested. James 1:3 is a perfect illustration of the testing of our faith.

Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (NIV)

Your faith has been tested, you have persevered, your faith has healed you, and you ARE free from your suffering.

For this very reason; make every effort to add yo your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge.
II Peter 1:3 NIV

In II Peter, God lays out His plan for you and what your faith should include: goodness and knowledge...

With faith comes the knowledge that you were taken "up" out of the ashes and brought into your beauty.

In my next article I will talk about how "we" can become women of knowledge.

You are blessings to me. As God delights in you, I do also. You have blessed me with your continued thoughts and favorite bible verses.

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.
II Corinthians 16:13 (NIV)


Faith be with you,

Debra