Forgive and Forget?? Easier Said Than Done!!

by Shannon Baltz
(Nashville, TN, USA)

When your son/daughter messes up, how many times do you correct them? 1? 20? 1,000??? Do you even put a limit on it? I don't. It's part of having a child. You love them without condition. No matter what they do, no matter how bad it gets, you always love them and forgive them and keep guiding them on to do better in the future, right?

Well, let me throw this out to you dear reader, how many times do we forgive ourselves? How many times have you wronged those that you love? How many hearts have ached over your words or actions? How many mistakes have you made and bad decisions have you made that have caused those that you love pain or hurt?

I have - more times than I can count and recall - screwed up. I have said and done things and then looked into the eyes of my children and seen the pain and hurt and immediately regretted my actions.

I have done things and heard the words from my mom, "Shannon, this just breaks my heart". I truly believe I would rather have each finger nail removed one by one than ever see a look of pain or disappointment on my mothers face.

But I have done it. I have hurt her, my family and those closest to me time and again and they always, always welcome me back with a hug and a kiss and they forgive me. Once it's done, it's done and they mention it no more.

Recently, my actions hurt someone that I love more than life itself. I made a bad choice. I acted on a whim and did not consider the consequences. Once my mistake was noticed, the pain I caused and the pain I felt were indescribable. I cannot find words to use to describe how miserable I felt.

No matter what the cause, no matter what the excuse, I knew better. I have to tell you dear friend, when you search your entire life for something that you know that God is preparing for you, and you find it, and you hurt it, the word "remorse" is not even close to enough.

As my tale continues, words were spoken, tears were shed, and retribution was inflicted. I paid. I suffered and I was forgiven.

I knew better, friends. I knew better than to cause one single moment of pain or doubt in anyone's mind, but friends I am human. I am a sinner and I acted out of selfishness. My foolishness almost cost me what it took 34 years to find.

But God is good, my friends. And for some reason, my God wants something special for me, and the person I wronged did what those that love me unconditionally did, he held me in his arms, he hugged me and kissed me and said those words, "I forgive you and it's over".

As hard as that was, the battle had just begun, how, how would I ever, forgive myself? I found myself staring in the mirror and hating the woman who was staring back. I found myself cursing the person that I am. I felt like a hypocrite. Like a mocking shell - having hurt the one I love the most.

I called myself every name under the sun and cried so much that I ran out of tears. I could never, even with the rest of my life ahead of me, explain my devotion to this person and yet I had almost failed and completely failed myself. I was more shamed than I had ever been. He had forgiven and I could not.

How do we do that? How do we forgive the ones we love and move on and yet continue to punish ourselves when we falter? I know I am better than my actions. I know what is in my heart, but I can't seem to let go and forgive myself for the look of pain on his face, my children's faces and those around me that I love.

If it takes the rest of my life and if I am lucky enough to hold on to it - I keep trying. I wake up every day and strive to be better than the day before.

My mistake was a priceless lesson and actually opened a line of communication that had been closed. I am better for it, I just wish I could turn back the clock.

How fortunate are we, as Christians, to have a heavenly father who remembers our sins no more? He throws them as far as the east is from the west and they are gone.

When I was a child, I prayed for the Lord to forgive me for the same sin over and over and my mom asked me, "Shannon, why do you keep praying for that? Don't you know that God does not know what you are talking about? He has forgotten that sin, He remembers it no more."

She was right. How blessed are we? My prayer is that I look in the mirror now and say, "you messed up, but it's done. He forgave you and now as a child of God, you have to forgive you too!" God expects that of us. He does not want us carrying around the pain and burden of guilt. We learn from the example of the Father.

In my children's eyes, I can do no wrong. Oh how I wish I saw things the way they do. I witnessed my mom forgive me after causing her shame, disappointment and fear and she remembers it no more. I hurt someone I cherish so very much and he said, "its done baby, let's move forward". Now it's my turn. Now I just want to take that heavy burden off of my shoulders and learn to love me again.

Jesus said "come to me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest". He said "cast your cares upon me". He carried a cross - he can surely bare this burden on my behalf. He created me and He does not make mistakes.

Love yourself in a way that God would love you too. Do not carry the burden. He wants it, and He wants your heart to smile and not be filled with tears of regret. You will make mistakes but the greatest mistake will be if you do not learn from them and continue to repeat them.

I won't repeat my mistakes. I have grown over the past few weeks and changed behavior so that I can prove my devotion and love for all of those around me. I will cherish what God has given me and be the very best I can. I may fall, but when I do, I will stand up and be stronger.

Look to the Lord friends. Forgive as he forgave and learn to let the hurt go.

My love to you all.

---

Here are some more articles to help you in this important area:

I Need some Scripture on Forgiveness

How Do I Pray for Forgiveness?

How Do I Forgive Myself?




Comments:


wonderful again
by: mom

This is a tremendous testimony to the reality of what we do every day. Isn't is wonderful that God is SO forgiving and gracious? Isn't it also wonderful that as we mature in His love, we can learn from His forgiveness to forgive ourselves. Nothing is too big or bad for Him to forgive and He is the perfect Almighty. If our perfect God can forgive us, how can we not forgive ourselves?
Again, a very wonderful article from a wonderful young woman.



by: Anonymous

This is such a true testimony. We are so fast to accept faults in those around us but so slow to forgive the ones in ourselves. Thank you for sharing this and hopefully I can forgive myself as God forgave me.
Thank you again, this was powerful and I can tell your heart was hurting.

Children's Glasses: Key to Salvation?

by Shannon Baltz
(Nashville, Tennessee, USA)

Welcome friends with the love of the Father.

Once upon a time, there was a pair of glasses that possessed a power so great, that whenever they were worn, they could show the wearer the key to salvation.

The glasses caused the wearer to see the world through the eyes of a child and thus, made it as though they were in fact children again. Life was simple and the wearer was able to simply follow God's plan without reason or worry.

Could it really be that simple? I believe it is.
My daughters are 6 and 8 and are my inspiration to keep me young. They see life so simply and I try daily, to be just like them. I introduced God to my children before they were born. I would sing to them and pray with them and when they were born we continued in this way to assure that they had a strong belief and foundation to build their life on.

Children are extraordinary creatures as I am sure you all know. They simply believe. They do not try and prove or reason or explain, they just believe. They believe in a man with a red suit who can magically visit every home in the world within a 24 hour span of time and know exactly what present to leave each and every child.

They believe in a woman (yes, the fairer sex claims this one, my friends) whose only job is to fly around the world collecting the teeth of children and depositing money in their place. (I am sad to say that due to inflation, this lovely woman, aka - me, is moonlighting at the local Target store to try and afford the teeth that 2 certain little girls have learned to pull on purpose in order to collect a little cash - but I digress.)

They believe in a God that they cannot see and a Savior that they have never met. They pray to the Father because we, as their parents, have guided them to do so.

As parents we carry a heavy burden. We are blessed with these creatures, but we are charged, by the Father, to raise them to serve Him so that when they are older they will in turn, do the same.

So, this question goes out to the masses... why can we not be more like our children? Why do we teach them and mold them and in turn question our own salvation? Why can we not put on the glasses of a child and see the world the way we did when we were children?

Now, one thing you should understand about my eldest child, she is always very passionate about what she cares for. I would like to claim responsibility for that as I like to believe I am the same way. And I can only wonder how our Father in heaven must feel when he sees 2 sweet little hands clasped together and 2 little knees bent in prayer. It must be why our world is still here because I assure you there is nothing more wonderful to a parent than that scene. And I agree with scripture:

“I have no greater joy than to hear my children are walking in the truth” III John 1:4

However, I have learned that the old saying is true; God truly has a sense of humor.

My oldest daughter was almost 3 when I noticed that she had a new being watching her back and fighting her battles for her. Looking back, when children get in trouble, we rarely remember what they got in trouble for, but the way they reacted and the lessons they learned. I feel this way about my children as well. The jury is still out on the lessons they have learned.

I recall Olivia, my oldest, not doing what she was told one day, and I, having had “enough” (and I love the fact that moms can determine exactly what ‘enough’ is at any point in time) was scolding her and she, obviously obtaining a talent for the dramatics, began to cry.

I was furious and suddenly she dropped to her knees. I snapped at her “what are you doing????” Through her tears she looked up at me, and with a tinge of anger, replied back, “I was praying to the Dear Lord and I asked Him to look down and tell that lady to quit being so mean to that little girl!!!” I wanted to laugh, but I snidely remarked back “well I think He is looking down saying ‘shame on that little girl for not obeying her mommy like I commanded’”

Do not worry, dear reader, I am already setting aside a fund for her future therapy bills.

But I love that story because it shows that her foundation was built upon the Lord. She knows in times of trouble to call upon the Father and He will be there.

If we give our children the right tools and a firm and steady rock to stand on, they can carry that strength throughout their lives. No matter what the deceiver may throw their way, they will be ready. They will go back to childhood and look to us, and see the examples we have set in their lives and they will then know what to do.

Take charge parents. Take the job that the Lord has given you very seriously and lead. Let's lead our children and create in them a foundation that will last through generations. And let us, as adults, wear the glasses of a child and see the world like we once did and live as though we were a child, as the Father has commanded.

And He said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3

Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:4

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

Anger or Understanding?

by Shannon
(Nashville, TN, USA)

Good day friends and I pray you had a healthy and happy holiday season with family and friends.

I want to share a story with you. Late last night I was awakened around 9:30 (yes, it's sad that I was sound asleep by 9:30 but I digress) by my 8 year old. She was crying. As a parent, that is one of the saddest sounds you can hear, the genuine cry of your child. As I was startled awake I asked her what was wrong.

Through her tears, she told me that she had to tell me something and it was something that had been bothering her for some time. Very much awake now, I realized this was serious. She told me that she had lied to her librarian at school.

I calmly asked her what her lie was, to which she informed me that the librarian had asked if she had read two books that she was turning back in and my child said "yes" when honestly she had only read a couple of pages. She was broken hearted. She told me that it had been bothering her ever since she did it.

I calmly asked her why she lied and she gave me SCR #1 (Standard Child Response #1) "I don't know" (moms and dads - we know this one well). I told her I forgave her and that lying is never ok. I told her to pray about it and I know God will forgive her as well. I told her I loved her and sent her back to bed. And soon, I was off to sleep again myself.

When I awoke this morning, I pondered what had happened the entire morning. I would like to share my conclusion with you.

I am proud of her. Not for lying of course, but for being brave enough to come to me and tell me her troubles. I am proud that my daughter has a conscience. She knows right from wrong. This was something so small but it was so big to her and it was wearing on her now for some time. She felt comfortable enough with me and trusted in me enough to come to me and share with me what she had done. I am proud.

Do we give our children a "safe haven"? Do we, as Christian parents, let them know that it is ok to come to us without fear and confide in us? If not, we should.

Our Heavenly Father does it for us, and we are charged, as parents, to raise our children in the way of the Lord. Do we think that He gives us these most precious gifts but doesn't expect us to raise them to know the difference between right and wrong?

I am far from the perfect parent, but I always assure my children that they can come to me and tell me ANYTHING, no matter the severity of their transgression, and they will be safe with me. I may not like what they have done and they may get punished for it, but they are my children and I will always love them and hold them and forgive them.

Is our Heavenly Father not the same with us? No matter what we have done and who we have hurt, do we not have a "safe haven" in Him? Will He not always hold us and tell us He loves us and forgive us? We may have to pay a punishment for our sins, but He is merciful and we are washed in his blood. We are His perfect creations and He loves us above all as we should with our children.

Have you done something in the past that is eating away at your conscience? Do you have that little pit in your stomach? Is there a secret you keep that you are too ashamed to share? Take it to the Lord. He is our Father. He loves you. He is a God of mercy and forgiveness.

Is your child aware that at any time (even at the wee hours of 9:30pm), that they can come to you and tell you what has happened to them and you will love them as God loves us? See your children as the Lord sees us and all things will be complete.

I leave you with this passage, friends, and may the Lord bless you today and in the coming days. Until we meet again - in Christian Love - Shannon.

Ephesians 1:7
"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace."

Christian Parent's Hats

by Shannon Baltz
(Nashville, TN, USA)

You know, I had no idea when I became a Christian parent that I would begin so many new careers. I was under the false impression that I would simply be, a mom. WRONG! I became a nurse, a teacher, a chef (and a good one at that), a maid, a construction worker, a party planner and the list goes on and on.

But it's the construction worker hat that I wear today. How, you may ask, are you a construction worker Shannon? Well, it is likely the most important hat I wear.

When we become Christian parents, we are charged with laying foundations. We build a strong base in our children's lives and then we assemble steel beams to support whatever storms or battles come their way. Without that hard core within their soul, how can we turn them out into the world? When sin, suffering, and hardships come their way, how are they expected to make it through without knowing that they can lean on the Father?

You will often hear me speak of my children, but my eldest is the funniest and most insightful little thing I have ever come across. I have tried to teach her to pray in all things. We will pray when we hear an ambulance that every one is OK. We pray when there is a storm that we can make it home safely. We pray together a lot and as I watch her I see that she truly believes in the results of her prayers.

The other night, she had once again forgotten to bring home her homework. Well, I had been reminding her since school began to remember everything. Check it off, so you know it's in your back pack. But children have a "mommy blocker" installed in their little heads and they can filter what they want to hear and apply right through their "mommy blocker". She filtered out my requests.

I was scolding her and ranting about responsibility and I remember her saying "how long are you going to be mad?" to which I replied "for the next little bit". I was completely unaware that in her world, the "next little bit" meant exactly 30 minutes. I noticed she glanced at the clock and sat down and did not say another word.

As she was finishing her dinner, I heard her completing her countdown, "five...four...three...two...one!" at which point she jumped up said "AMEN" and hugged me and ran off.

"WAIT ONE MINUTE... what was that?" She replied, "the next little bit is over, love you mom". After further investigation I learned that she had been in solemn prayer that "the next little bit" would hasten by and she could then be free of the "wrath of mom".

It's funny to think about but when you look at it in a serious tone, but she knew that in her time of need to turn to prayer. She turned to the Father for comfort and she knew she would be ok.

That is what our children need. They need to know where to turn and where their strength lies in times of trouble. Without it, they will turn to the world for comfort and that is a straight path to the deceiver.

Build foundations in Christ. Lay the concrete of peace, love and steadfastness. Assemble beams of honesty, purity, grace and forgiveness. When the world creeps in, they will have their roots dug in so deep that they will not falter.

"Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it." - Proverbs 22:6


I leave you with these words from the scripture, until next time, with the love of Christ.

Shannon

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." - Colossians 4:2

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." - Romans 12:12

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise." - James 5:13


Comments:


Christian Parent's Hats
by: Shirl Scott


You continue to bless us with the reality of what we supposed to be to our children. Beautiful work.



by: Lisa Stinson

Congratulations on a wonderful article! God has blessed you with a talent that needs to be shared! I'm looking forward to the next message that God puts on your heart!



by: Lynn Mosher

What a great piece! And, oh, so true. I'm glad you have joined the columnists. I look forward to next month's offering. Blessings...



by: Shannon H.

Wonder where the inspiration came from?? (tongue in cheek). Easy to read, easy to understand. Enjoyed it!



by: Donna Root

Shannon I love your insight and your ability to put into words what you have learned. Keep on writing. I'll keep on reading -- and probably using your articles (with credit to you, of course) for classes I teach.




by: Anonymous

As I read this, I think of the story in terms of being a dad. Nothing is more precious in this world, than the faith of children. Those foundations and The Lord allowing that miracle in our lives is one of our greatest blessings.
Thank you Shannon for you insight and witness as a Christian parent. Again, I love your writing style in fact and jest.



by: Anonymous

I love your articles! I agree that we have to build a strong foundation or else our lives will crumble!
I can't wait to read more - well done!

Have You Seen My Urges Anywhere??

by Shannon Baltz
(Nashville, TN, USA)

What drives you to stop at McDonald's on the way home? The urge for that Big Mac?

What coaxes you into the neighborhood bar? The urge for a beer?

What makes you whisper a secret to the co-worker next to you? The urge to share that juicy bit of gossip you learned?

Urges. They push us to do most things in our lives. Whether it be to cheat on our diet, look at something on the internet that we shouldn't, or tell a secret that has been entrusted to us.

How do we justify that? Do we say, we earned it. It's a free country. No one is watching. What harm can it do?

Think about it, every bad decision that we make in this life has to do with our lack of self-control. We give in to the urge. We become weak and convince ourselves that it's ok. We reason and justify until in our minds we may actually believe that we are making the best choice.

This is deceit in its oldest and truest form. We have conditioned ourselves to not feel shame or remorse anymore. We have become numb as a society.
We have given in to our urges so much that it becomes a way of life. We gloss over the consequences and it no longer effects us.

Sadly though, it is our children who suffer the most. Our children see us "giving in" and they start, at a very young age, seeing that it's just ok.

For example, you take a father who drinks. He doesn't just drink, he is an alcoholic. He comes home and the children smell something on his breath, not knowing until years later that it is the unmistakable smell of beer. He has one, then two more, then five more, the urge pushes him on. He never really pays any consequence. He leaves home, starts over, has nice clothes, nice car, things seem ok when the kids see him.

So years later, they are faced with the same choices. The urge is there, the temptation arises, what do they do? Most times, they will follow suit. They will be like dad and give in to the urge.

You see, the world will tell us "you deserve this", "just one more", "no one will know". I am here to tell you friends, God knows. Our children know. They hear us when we think they don't. I cannot tell you the times that my girls have come to me to ask me about a phone conversation they heard me have when they were listening in a room away from me.

We have to remember, nothing we do is done in private. The Father sees everything.

Should that scare us? Perhaps it should. Would we give in to the urges if Christ were sitting right next to us? Guess what, He is! He is there, begging you to lean on him instead of caving in to the urges. He is our crutch. He is our strength. He is our shield.

God said to us: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" I Corinthians 10:13

Our urges do not control us. The Father has given us a way out. Pray for strength friends, pray for vision to see when you are tempted and knowledge to understand the way out. Jesus came to earth and was a man. He fought the urges and temptations, so can we.

Know your weakness. Fight it. Do not give the temptor an open door into your life. Show your children strength of character.

I wish you all well and will pray for you until next time.

Your friend
~ Shannon

Super Mom? Yeah Right!

by Shannon
(Nashville, TN, USA)

My day starts at 4:30pm. Well maybe not technically, but figuratively it does. You see, I actually awake each morning at 5:30am. I wake up, I get ready for work and then wake my girls and prepare them for their day. We are out of the house by 6:30am (hopefully) and they are dropped off at school by 7:00am and I arrive downtown by 7:30am. I go about my day and leave my office at 4:30pm. That is when my day truly starts. I arrive to pick up my girls by 5:00pm and then the adventure begins.

We get home, I start dinner while they finish homework and play outside. We have dinner around 6:00pm and then the remainder of the night is filled with baths, washing clothes, ironing school uniforms for the next day, cleaning dinner dishes, preparing lunches for the next day, preparing breakfast for the next day, cleaning up toys, preparing my clothes for the next day, etc.

Somewhere around 9:00pm after the girls are in bed, I collapse.

It's tough! I would like to say I have time to read, paint, write, shop, go to the theatre etc.. but come on now - you, as a parent, know that "free time" is scarce when you have children. The laundry piles up. The upstairs hall needs to be painted. The yard needs to be mowed. The car needs to be cleaned out. The ironing needs to be done. The groceries will not buy themselves. The floors need to be vacuumed. The kitchen needs to be mopped. And the list goes on and on..

Does it ever get to you? It does get to me. I will be the first to admit that I need a clone. I need an exact twin who can take care of all the things I need help with so that I have more "me" time. I mean it drives me nuts when I can't vacuum every day. The kids come in from playing and there are leaves on my den floor!!! (Insert a shriek of terror here). The deck desperately needs to be pressure washed (and if its not done the neighborhood will surely collapse in embarrassment). I did not make up my bed this morning because we were rushed - oh the humanity!

Does it matter? In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter? Do you think in 20 years when your children look back on their childhood are they going to remember how hard mommy or daddy worked on the house? Or will they remember how much time mommy and daddy spent with them?

One of my eldest child's favorite things is sitting down and playing a board game. She loves it! So instead of spending 30 minutes vacuuming the upstairs and scrubbing out a tub, I can take that time and sit down with her and play Battleship. I assure you, she will remember that far more that if she was lonely in her room with a clean floor.

The weekends are great times to get "caught up" on chores but what if one weekend you gave up the chores and took the kids to the park? What if you went to get ice cream? What if you went to a pond and fed ducks or took off and went to the zoo?

The bond with your children would be so much stronger than if you stayed home and ignored them while you rushed around trying to assure that you have the house that will be featured on the next cover of Better Housekeeping.

I once read that children need our presence more than they need our presents. This is so true. Just sitting down and holding them in your lap is a far greater gift than shoving them in from of a television so you can mop a floor.

The time when they are young will pass before we know it. Then they are gone. The mess will still be there, but our children will be gone and those precious moments will be out of our reach. Will they then repeat the pattern that we showed them? Will they miss those precious moments to assure that they are "neat and tidy"?

We are told in the scripture not to worry. Why worry about a few dishes in our sinks? Is that going to impact the life of a child? I don't think so!

Leave the ironing tonight. Let the grass grow one more day. Let the leaves stay on the floor. Go home. Pick up your child, pull out a game, and play. Laugh. Love that child while the precious moment is within your reach. Don't let this day pass without seeing and I mean really seeing your child look up at you and smile.

We can't be Supermom and Superdad and do it all, but we can be Supermom and Superdad in the eyes of our children. Start today.

My love to you all.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?" Matthew 6:25

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

by Shannon
(Nashville, TN, USA)

"Mom - you look so beautiful" Olivia told me. "Mommy you wook wondaful" Grace followed. "Grace! Why do you have to copy me? Even when I speak beautiful words of poetry?" Olivia asked.
I just laughed. I think it was the 'beautiful words of poetry' that struck me.

Grace adores her big sister. Yes, they fight like cats and dogs sometimes, but Grace wants to be just like her and of course, Olivia is as annoyed as anyone can be. She will come to me and say "Mom, why does she have to copy everything I do?"

I just reply that "Grace loves you so much, she wants to be just like you". It is true what they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But, it's also the most dangerous.

I watch Olivia a lot and she watches me. She studies me and she listens. She wants to know everything that is going on in my life. She tells me, "Mom, I want to be just like you".

Looking back at my life, I can honestly say, those are the scariest words I have ever heard.
I have not been the role model I would choose for my daughter. It seems that every bad choice I have made, every rocky road I have traveled and every dark room I have entered. How I made it out on the right path has been the Lord's doing, but certainly not something I did on my own.

It's funny when you are faced with moral decisions, even those that no one else will know about, you never think about the 8 and 6 year old little girls who are watching your every move. You never think about the words, "Mommy, I want to be just like you". How can we explain to them, "No baby, you don't want to be like mommy"?

I have written to you before about the many hats we wear as parents. This is about: The Hero Hat.

I remember the movie "Superman III" - come on folks - work with me here - this is a good example. After Clark Kent is exposed to a chunk of red kryptonite, he becomes his own worst enemy. He becomes mean and nasty. The people who once looked up to him were now doubtful and fearful of him.

Folks - that was me. (Of course, without the super human powers and chunk of red kryptonite). I became my own worst enemy. Thankfully, all my children saw was my temper tantrums, but to me, that was enough.

I was living a dual existence. One side was a mom and wife and I was just going on day by day, the other side was struggling to survive. I was busy turning my back on those I loved and looking to false and empty promises of the deceiver to make me happy. I was lost.

But the Lord was not done with me. He saw in me the promise of hope and He knew that my children needed me. I was saved, dear readers. I was saved for my children.

The Lord blesses us with these wonderful little creatures. He gives us our children and charges us to raise our children to serve Him. We are to be the shining examples in their lives. Examples of followers of God. Children imitate what they see. Violent children see violence. Sad children see sadness. Happy children see love.

Each day is so very precious. Each day our children learn from us and what they see in us. What will we show our children today? Will we show them love? Happiness? Patience? Laughter? Hugs? Kisses? If we do - will they not in turn show the same emotions to their children? Think about it.

If your child is 3 or 33, tell them you love them. Kiss their heads and tell them they make you proud. They are God's gift to us, let us not squander what the Lord has made.

AreYou in Love?

by Shannon Baltz
(Nashville, TN USA)

"Mommy - are you in love?" Wow, what a question to hear first thing in the morning. I mean, where do they come up with these things? What cogs and wheels are turning in their little heads to make them generate such questions at 7:00 am, before mom has had her daily caffeine?

"With who" I replied. "Just in love" she said. I simply replied that I know what its like to be in love, I figured that was my safest answer.

As we are getting to know each other, my friends, I think it safe to assume that you see I am a single mother. I assure you that this is not something I ever intended or planned on. When I married, I fully planned on staying that way for the remainder of my life. Well, our best plans do not always fit in to other plans that have been designed for us.

Divorce is a nasty adventure isn't it? God creates a man and a woman to be united forever. When that breaks, it not only breaks that union, it has a ripple effect. It's like dropping a huge stone into a calm pond - not only does it make a huge splash, but the waves ripple out to the otherwise calm waters. Divorce hurts everyone. The married couple, the children, the in-laws, friends, church family and most of all God.

Even though this is not what I had planned for my life, it happened anyway. So now what? How do we carry on? How do I show my 2 little girls that marriage is sacred? How do I lead by example? The answer... with God's help.

It broke their hearts when their parents parted, but what I have to do is reassure them of several things:

1.) Mom and Dad love you - children have to know - HAVE TO KNOW - that above all else, they are the only things that matter. When mom and dad broke up, they did not break up with the children. And even though daddy may not be at home or mommy may not be there, the children are loved just as much and they are still the center of the universe.

2.) This is not what God has planned for us. That is a hard lesson to teach. I have to reassure them that marriage is special and a gift from the Father.

3.) Mommy and Daddy will always love each other. It is so hard for children when they see mom and dad at each others throats. After being divorced for 4 years, my girls still ask, "Do you love Daddy"? I answer "Yes because Daddy gave me you". This seems to reassure them that there is no hatred there and it always leaves them walking away with a smile.

Dear friends, I do not have all the answers here. I am not sure I have any of them. But children need to see love. They live what they see and I can only hope that going forward I can show my children what true love is. I only hope that in God's plan for me there will be an example for my girls, that they can see how special marriage is between a man and a woman. I pray I can one day show them God's plan for us.

We cannot beat ourselves down if we fall into divorce. We have to accept what is happening and pray for the grace of the Father to cover it for us. He will see us through.

I spent too many days, weeks, months and years chipping away at my soul feeling unworthy of love because I don't fit into the perfect mold. I am a divorced, single mom. When I walk into church, I see families and couples together and I am not in that boat. But you know what? My Heavenly Father is walking with me. He loves me. He is still holding my hand and seeing me through. He is my soul mate, is He not? He has a plan for me. I may not be married and fitting an image that we build up for ourselves, but my Father in heaven still loves me just the same.

I show my children that. I show them that even though things may not go perfect in our lives and we may fall from the ideal, God loves us and will see us through. Most of all I love them and so does Daddy.

Looking back to my six year old's question, "Mommy are you in love?" - I should have answered "Yes, with you and your sister and with God". When that works, all else falls into place.

Psalm 36:5
"Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies".

What Time Is It?

by Shannon Baltz
(Nashville, TN, USA)

Joyous news! Wonderful news! Disney World here we come. Yes, it's true, we are making the journey to the Happiest Place on Earth this fall. I passed the happy tidings on to my girls and immediately they asked, "When - when??" I gave them the date and what had been sounds of excitement and anticipation quickly turned to sighs and groans, "that's like 5 years from now mom".

I tried to explain to them that it really wasn't that long and that it would be here before we know it and that we need that time to prepare and save and get ready for our trip... but it was no use, the trip simply cannot get here fast enough. I agree, but at least I can see the big picture and I know exactly when we are going, so it's not too bad for me.

Life is like that isn't it? We set a goal. We want it - and we want it NOW. Whoever said that patience is a virtue was so right, I am sorry to say that it is not one I have mastered. There are so many things I want in my life, and I want them now, but my time table seems to be off from that of God's.

See, God is like my parent. He knows there is something in the works for me. He knows that I am not ready or else I would have it now. I think I am. I think to myself, "hey I have it together and I am ready for this, now God - where are you?" But He knows better. I have pushed my timetable before. I have jumped out of what God wants for me and my life and pressed for what I thought I was ready for and guess what... it all crumbled right before my eyes. Not only did it crumble for me, but for my family and friends as well.

I was the anxious little kid with a new present that was at the swimming pool for the first time without my floatie. I knew I shouldn't but thinking since I had dog paddled a few times I should be able to jump into the deep - I did and almost drowned. God pulled me back. Just as He has time and time again and reminded me, "You are not ready yet".

See, our God has a fabulous sense of humor. He knows patience is just not my thing. He sees flaws in me that I am completely unaware exist. He knows that I need to make some adjustments and mend some old wounds before the time is right to bless me with what I have always longed for.

Life is full of "GET IT NOW" fixes. Want a smaller tummy? Buy this ab buster and have a flat stomach in 3 days! Want long hair? Buy these extensions and you will have Crystal Gayle hair in no time!

We have moved into the accelerated program of life. We want to do this on our schedule, not God's schedule. And it always seems that when we don't get it, we blame God. He must have left and forsaken us because He did not answer our prayers when we asked Him to.

We have to remember people - there are no clocks in heaven. God knows what we want. God knows what we need but we are not on our time, we are on His time and it is up to Him to determine what and when it's best for us to have it.

So, I wait. I continue to pray for it with the knowledge that He knows when and where it will happen. My God is an awesome God. My God loves me SO much that He will not let me jump in the deep end again without the skills I need to take off and swim. My God loves me enough to teach me patience so that I can grow and thrive in Him and better receive the gift that I am awaiting.

My God is showing my children how to be patient and live for him so that they can receive His blessings. God is good my friends - all the time - our God is GOOD! Be patient. Wait on the Lord. Trust in his timing and you will be the better for it.

Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Have a great day!