Could True Love Be on the Horizon?

by Rhonda Jones
(Sacramento, CA, USA)

When I sat down to write this month's column I had two trains of thought. I could write about the awesome story of Joseph's love as he forgave his brothers for selling him into slavery because of their intense hatred for him. As I was reading the following Biblical passage (Genesis 50) I got stuck on the question Joseph asked his brothers as they stood before him with trepidation, "Do I act for God? Don't you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good".

Wow! You mean all the evil and hurtful things people do to us can actually be for our own good? And instead of retaliating and acting for God, it may be in our best interest to forgive and acknowledge that there just may be a bigger picture here?

It's hard to be this objective when we're in the midst of crisis and uncertainty, isn't it? As we can observe from Joseph's story, it's only through hindsight that he understood the purpose of his tumultuous journey, lasting from youth to adulthood. There are many lessons to be gleaned here.

But instead I want to share with you another story of love and forgiveness in my own life that is literally changing the core of who I am and making me to want to be different and behave differently.

Many of my friends say God brought Jason into my life, though I had begged to differ. Being happily single, not always the case, for many years now and rarely thinking about tying the knot again, the thought of dealing with a mate seemed daunting at best.

And then there were the walls, those brick fortresses we put up because of the pains we suffered at the hands of past relationships vowing never to be hurt again. For me, it was more like an ice tunnel that very few could venture through before turning back to find warmth. It wasn't that I'm a mean person, far from it, but try as they might, I held everyone at arm's bay.

But then Jason showed up, poor Jason everyone gasped, if he only knew what he was in for. But God in all his wisdom and humor was turning the tables and now, if I only knew what I was in for.

Jason never gave up. Like the others who realized soon they were fighting a losing battle, Jason stuck in there in spite of my unresponsiveness and downright neglect. I enjoyed him as a friend but that was about it. But Jason was different.

Though he would share his disappointments in our progress, he was never dissuaded from being anything but genuine and loving towards me. Some days I thought "oh maybe he could be the one," but on more days he definitely wasn't and never would be.

Then there was the one incident that changed me forever and I never looked at Jason quite the same again. It all started when I took another one of my trips to visit Jason on the East Coast. I live on the West Coast.

During this trip I planned to spend several days visiting my daughter in NY and then several days visiting Jason in Maryland. As each day went by I became more and more despondent about taking the trip, and should I say, all at Jason's financial expense.

Then the excuses started. The trip was going to be too long; I wasn't going to get any work done; I didn't feel like flying; the flights weren't non-stop; I don't really want to see Jason; I didn't want to take a train to Maryland, etc, etc, etc.

One day I was going, the next day I was not. This went on for almost a month. Everyday Jason asked me when I was going to book the flight. Oh, today I would say.

Well I just couldn't take all the indecision anymore, my indecision, and decided 100% that I would not go, even though everyone was expecting me and made plans in lieu of my coming. I felt like a smuck. I was sick to my stomach because I knew just how much I was going to disappoint everyone.

The whole day I sat on the couch with a heavy feeling of disgust for myself. I finally emailed, yes emailed, Jason to say I wasn't coming and then waited for his response.

I finally called him at 9 p.m., midnight East Coast time, to which he awoke out of a deep sleep, and I tried to explain why I had made what seems to be an abrupt decision. I was greeted with the disappointment I had expected; even a little anger was warranted.

Yet, coupled with the hurt of not coming and sending an email instead of calling, Jason was beyond loving and caring. Hey, I expected a lashing here, but none came. In fact, after we spoke for a while, Jason insisted on buying my ticket to NY to visit my daughter (for a much shorter stay) and then I'd come to Maryland the next month.

Oh my gosh, is he returning my evil with love? I could hardly contain myself. I expected anger and resentment, but I got love and generosity instead? I didn't deserve it. Why did he care so much? I began to reflect upon God's word that says, even while we were sinners, Christ died for us. His love was not conditional or based upon what we do or fail to do, but on who He is. He showed love because he is love, plain and simple. That's so much more than I can say about myself at times.

Jason has impacted my life so much by his example of unconditional love and genuine kindness. Some might say he has a personal interest in me, but he's like this with everyone who crosses his path. He makes me want to be a better person and examine how I'm falling short in the love and forgiveness area- holding people in bondage for upsetting me or reacting selfishly.

He's teaching me what Christ's love and forgiveness is really all about. I've heard about it all my life, but God is allowing Jason to show me this love in a real and tangible way. The word says that it is God's love that leads us to repentance. I understand that now.

Yes, God did bring Jason into my life, and I'm so much more the better for it. I feel these cold walls starting to melt again. I think true love could be on the horizon. ļ

---

Here are some more articles to help you in this important area:

I Need some Scripture on Forgiveness

How Do I Pray for Forgiveness?

How Do I Forgive Myself?





Comments:



by: Anonymous

Rhonda,

This is a wonderful piece, filled with truth, hope and wonderment. From what you wrote it sounds like love has invaded your heart and mind and that this relationship with unconditional love, is there for the taking...

I like how you wrote how God can take a negative condition or person and turn it around. I've seen this happen more than once and it is beautiful to experience.

I wish you the best in this relationship and it is clear, that God has paved, and continues to pave, a new and wonderful path for you ....

What a wonderful message of hope and faith!

Blessings

Running On Empty

by Rhonda Jones
(Sacramento, CA)

Lately, I’ve been going 100 miles per minute. My overextended schedule left me practically lifeless and surely mindless by the end of each day. Burning the candle at both ends is a surefire way to stress, anxiety, and ultimately unhappiness. It was never God’s intention for us to live our daily lives like we're racing in the Indy 500, but if we’re not careful that’s exactly how will end up.

Jesus said that he is the vine and we are his branches. Our life source, nourishment, strength, purpose, and focus come from Him. We can attempt to fulfill these needs elsewhere, but when we do we forfeit the ability to be successful in our endeavors, for Jesus said without me you can do nothing of any lasting value. We can be busy spinning our wheels, but if what we’re doing is void of God’s grace and spirit, why do it?

If you’ve been running on empty for some time now (you know that feeling of looking at the gas gauge in the red just praying you won’t end up stranded on the street somewhere), it’s time for a spiritual tune-up. Elijah in 1 Kings 19:3-4 is a good example of what happens when over-exhaustion sets in. He ran away from his responsibilities until he ended up under a broom tree, deleted and depressed, asking God to kill him right then and there. But God was waiting with loving and open arms and nurtured Elijah right back to health with rest and nourishment.

To keep cars autos in tiptop shape, we need to perform periodic maintenance. And to keep our lives running smoothly, or as Jesus said “more abundantly” we need to do the same. So what spiritual maintenance program do we need to schedule?


1. Daily quiet time and meditation with the God. This is where we spend 15-30 minutes meditating on the lord and entering into His presence. It helps us to be still, to cut the pull strings, to refocus and reach energize and to quiet our mental clutter or piercing demands so we can hear and respond to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

2. Meditate on God’s Word. Meditating is different than reading. Meditating on the Word makes it alive in our heart. To meditate on the word, find a passage in your Bible and just start reading. Don’t stop until a word, phrase, or scripture jumps off the page like a neon light! Write it down, think about and reflect on it throughout the day. Ask God to expand your revelation of it and consider how to make this Word more meaningful in your life.

3. Spend time in Silence and Solitude. Try to incorporate silence and solitude into your daily life. Perhaps daily won’t work but how about an hour during the week in or even consider a quarterly silent meditation retreat. Silence and solitude helps us to tear down, rebuild, and rejuvenate. It’s like a fast of the spirit and mind that allows us to purge those mindsets and faulty concept that interfere with God’s purpose and plan in our lives.

4. Create a Realistic Daily Schedule at the Beginning of Each Day. After your quiet time, once you’ve subdued the “must dos” and the “need tos,” spend 10 to 15 minutes planning out your day. After listing each item, number them by priority. Decide what time you plan to work on the each task, i.e. 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM. Begin on time and end on time. Move unfinished tasks to tomorrow’s list. Then, go enjoy the rest of your day being social, active, and nurturing to yourself. Balance is the key to health, joy, and on-going happiness.

5. Build Nurturing Time into Everyday. Spend at least 1 hour per day doing something you really enjoy or those necessities that keep the centered. For me it’s Biblical meditation, journaling, PraiseMoves, morning walk with my grandson, a great breakfast and reading a few pages or chapter of a favorite book. These activities keep me grounded when the pull to just work, work, work comes calling.

6. Rome wasn’t Built in a Day and it took God Seven Days to Create the Earth. Did you know a day in God is 1000 years? Learn to pace yourself and enjoy the journey on the way. Don’t put unnecessary demands on yourself or your time. You won’t reach to your destination any faster going 24/7, and in fact you may never reach it at all. Studies show that the happiest people in life are balanced and they’ve learned to make daily routines into enjoyable rituals. Don’t miss the beauty of the flowers because you’re constantly gazing in the sky.

7. This is the Day the Lord has Made, I will Rejoice and be Glad It. Notice the Word says this is the “day” God has made. He didn't say, week, a year or even eternity. Therefore, live for each day and leave the past and future in God’s hands. Rejoice in today and be grateful for the many blessings you possess right now.

Incorporating these spiritual disciplines into your daily life will help you to keep your perspective, balance, and energies in check. It will help you increase your output and productivity without draining you mentally, physically, and spiritually. God is our increase, our source and our constant supply. When we rely and trust in Him, we can give up striving and can live in peace, joy, and prosperity.



Comments:



by: Anonymous

Thanks for the insight. I to am running on empty and your suggestions on how to slow down and remember to spend time with the Lover of my soul is just what I needed. I care for my elderly parents and sometimes forget to care for myself so thanks again and may our Lord continue to bless you and all that concerns you.

A Sister in Christ

If We Ever Needed Faith ...We Need it Now!

by Rhonda Jones
(Sacramento)

We are living during one of the toughest economic times imaginable. Many people have lost their homes, their jobs, their pensions, and more.

If at any time we needed a move of God, it's now.

If at anytime we needed to trust God, it's now.

For many Christians, this is a testing time of our faith, but not our faith in the system which has grossly let us down. Yet, instead it is a test of our faith in Almighty God to really see us through these darker times.

Hebrews 11:6 tells us, "without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

When we make that proclamation to live by faith or in alignment with God's word, oftentimes it stretches us beyond our comfort zone and messes with our feelings of security. If you ask many Christians who have moved out in faith, they will tell you that being obedient to God didn't make much sense to their natural minds.

We want things to make sense. We initiate plan A, expecting result B. But in the kingdom of God, logic may take a back seat.

In review of several incidents in scripture, we find that Jesus told his disciples to lower their fishing nets again after a whole day of catching nothing. He told them to distribute several fish and loaves of bread to 5000 hungry people. Jesus told a wedding party to fill barrels with water so that he could turn them into wine; and he caught a fish that had money in its mouth to pay taxes. These all took acts of extreme faith.

I remember many years ago when I was hurting financially. I had actually run out of money but I was wholeheartedly serving the Lord. This particular Sunday I actually became a little angry with God.

I went into my room, closed the door, and started challenging God. I reminded him of what his Word said, that He promised to meet my needs and that the righteous weren't suppose to be begging for food. I told him that I was keeping my end of the bargain by serving Him the best way I knew how, so why was I in this situation.

Well, what happened next blew my mind. I opened by dresser drawer to pull out a blouse for church and underneath the blouse was six twenty dollar bills. I know you may be thinking that I just forgot they were there, but that's not it. I went into that drawer everyday and if the money had been there, I would have seen it. I believe it was my faith and standing on God's promises that caused this financial miracle.

In order to grow in our Christian walk, God challenges us to take steps that may be uncomfortable. Or, if we are praying and believing God to move in a particular area, He may ask us to do something that seems completely unrelated.

Sometimes we wait and wait for God to move, but He's waiting for us to move first. It wasn't until the children of Israel put their first foot in the water that the sea began to part. It wasn't until Moses hit the rock that the water came gushing out. It wasn't until they entered the promise land that God defeated their giants. Our acts of faith motion the hand of God.

Study the promises of God and incorporate them into your life. Because God said it, it's already true; it's a spiritual law that cannot return void. That means if you apply it, it must come true, just like a tossed ball must come down. If you are not speaking and applying God's promises to your life by faith, you are missing out on a whole lot of rewards.

There is power in the name of Jesus. It is the name that is above every name. In the name of Jesus we can heal the sick, cast out demons, and take in deadly substances without being harmed. Jesus said that if we have the faith of only a mustard seed, we could move mountains in our life. God wants us to trust him and believe him at his word. In Malachi, he told us to test him.


Sometimes we confuse having faith with "having faith in God." In other words, when we are believing for a certain outcome, God wants our faith to be in Him to "work all things out for our highest good and not just faith itself.

Speaking in the authority of the name of Jesus and with just a little bit of persistent faith, just think what God can do you your life. If this is added to abiding with Christ as branches abide with the vine, Jesus said we can ask for whatever we want, and God is obligated to do it. God knows that when we are in alignment with Him, we will be asking for the right stuff. With faith and patient, we inherit the promise. That's why I said persistent faith.


Are you facing lack today? What desires remain unmanifested in your life? What dream have you given up on? Don't be like the rich young ruler who walked away sad because he couldn't part with his material goods. His lack of faith in God's promises and faithfulness caused him to miss out on greater rewards than he could have imagined.

What might you be holding onto that is interfering with God's blessings and promises pouring into your life? Did God say he would do exceedingly abundantly above what we could ask for, imagine, or think?

Yes, but it requires faith in Him even when we can't see the way. It may require sacrifice now for blessings later. You can rest assured because God gives us a faith clause in Matthew 19:29, "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms for My name's sake, will receive many times as much, and will inherit eternal life.

During your prayer time, ask God what areas in your life are lacking in faith. Do some reflecting over past decisions to see if you took the security route instead of the faith route. This probably caused you some inner conflict or sadness.

Spend some time in silence and meditating on the Lord to see if God is guiding you down a new and different path. Make a commitment to walk in faith, apply God's promises to your life, and use the name of Jesus to overcome your mountains. Integrate your faith with patience and persistence.

The Bible tells us to speak those things as if they already happened. See your circumstances, spouse, children, business, boss, etc., the way you want them to be, not the way they currently exist. Speak God's powerful and life changing words into the mix. Walk by faith and not by sight. Begin today.


Comments:



by: Ann

Like many, I am struggling with issues that have been and continue to be, difficult, stressful and time-consuming. I have been praying and reading the Bible, but still the difficulties remain.

I will try to keep in mind your good words, "Spend some time in silence and meditating on the Lord to see if God is guiding you down a new and different path. Make a commitment to walk in faith, apply God's promises to your life, and use the name of Jesus to overcome your mountains. Integrate your faith with patience and persistence."

If you will, pray for me that my husband and I can get beyond these insidious difficulties and move closer toward God's answers...

Thank you so much for your inspiring words...

Ann



by: Anonymous

Thank you for such powerful words of encouragement and inspiration. God bless you and I pray that your message touches many more people like it did me. God is good.

Changing Your Mental Imprint

by Rhonda Jones
(Sacramento, CA)

I recently read an article regarding why self development workshops and self improvement seminars don't work. It's not that the information isn't great or the strategies effective. It's not even that we don't absorb the information or that we don't want to change. Yes in fact we do, very much so.

But the problem lies deep within us, way below our subconscious mind and daily actions. Our lack of change comes not from what we fail to do, but from our mental imprinting.

Mental imprinting, much like our genetic DNA, is the backdrop from which we perceive ourselves, others, and the world. Our mental imprints make it so that no two people see everything the same. It incorporates our environment growing up, our conditioning, our success and failures, labels we received, and messages from parents and teachers. As a whole, it encompasses our entire belief system. It's also what inhibits true change. Because no matter what new information we receive, if our belief system remains the same, it just won't stick.

For example, I have a friend who is absolutely beautiful and people have told her this since she's been in high school. Yet when she was a little girl somehow she got the message she was ugly, and no one can convince her otherwise; three decades later.

Our mental imprinting is subjective, meaning, it's based on our own perceptions, even if they are false or untrue. That's why Jesus said as a man thinks in his heart so is he. So how do we change our imprinting so that we can become the person we want to be?

1. Be still. Get still so you can learn about yourself and what's on the tablets of your soul and spirit. What messages, fears, or mindsets have become stumbling blocks to your success? Recognizing your foes is the first step to conquering them.

For the next week keep a journal of your thoughts. At the end of the week, look over what you recorded. This will give you insight to the type of thoughts that preoccupy your mind and why you may be acting the way you do.

2. Make decisions that lead to success. When faced with a choice, oftentimes we make decisions based on the tablets of conditioning or old habits. We do this automatically without even realizing it. Many times we're afraid to venture out of our comfort zone.

What's interesting is that when we do things differently long enough, we alter our imprinting as well and see the world through new eyes. In fact, we become new creatures, just like the Bible says. Therefore, take small risks and when faced with a choice, choose what the new person, the person you are aspiring to be would do.

For example, recently I was driving home and passed In and Out Burgers. I began contemplating getting off at the next exit, turning around, and buying a hamburger and fries. But before I did I asked myself, what would the new me, the thin me do? I answered by saying, she would wait and eat something more nutritious. I drove on.

Later that day I was running some errands. I had one more stop at the bank but I didn't "feel" like going. So I asked myself again. What would the new me, the me that doesn't procrastinate do? I answered myself by saying, she would go to the bank and not put it off. So I decided to go to the bank.

Or, a family member makes a comment that upsets you. You're just about ready to tell them off. But you've written your perfect relationship letter (next step below) and have been visualizing yourself as a peacemaker and not reacting to unpleasant circumstances. So before you open your mouth, you ask yourself, what would the new me do, the me that wants to nurture a loving relationship? Then act accordingly.

Remember the acronym, WWJD, What Would Jesus Do? Well use the same concept for creating the person you really want to be. You can change with a little consistent effort.

The only difference between success and failure is what's going on between your ears. It's what you believe about yourself and the world. Some people believe they can never fail, and they don't. If something doesn't go the way they planned, they just make a new plan. Quitting is not an option until they succeed at what they're doing.

Lastly, don't try to change too much as once. Pick ONE area (maybe two) and work on it for the next three weeks. Once you have that mastered then pick another. If you laser focus on one area until it becomes ingrained in you, you will get you to your goals faster than trying to change everything at once. I am trying to drink 8 glasses of water each day, but if I try to do that and 3 other things, I probably won't do any at all. Making changes takes CONSCIOUS effort.

3. Write your perfect story. Spend some time reflecting on what you want, then sit down and write a 1-2 page success story. For example, some people are afraid of flying. Somewhere in their past, this fear was imprinted on their subconscious mind and continued into adulthood. This person may know that their fear is unwarranted, but no matter what they can't shake it.

One way to change their imprinting, is to write a story about the perfect trip just the way they would want it to unfold. They would write about their excitement and anticipation in as much detail as possible. This should include their ride to the airport, conversations with flight attendants and passengers, the flight in general and their great feelings of accomplishment after exiting the plane.

You can create this type of story for any situation you want to change or overcome. It could be shyness, confidence, procrastination, healthy relationships, and more. Your story will reflect who want to be, how you want to act, or how you want the situation to be, not what it is right now. In Biblical terms, we're speaking those things that are not as though they already happened. You know, "act as if."

If your goal is to lose weight, your story should reflect your ideal weight, what you're doing EVERYDAY to get there, how people respond to your new look, and even buying those fancy thin outfits.

If you are shy, your story should include you talking to strangers and making small talk to those around you. See yourself laughing and carrying on great conversations. Make sure your story includes actual dialogue. Before long, you'll be looking for people to talk too.

If there is conflict in a close relationship, your story should reflect you being a peacemaker, turning the other cheek, and using words that comfort instead of alienate. Create a perfect day with your mate or friend. What would you do, how would you interact with each other?

Once you have your detailed story written, everyday during a quiet 15-20 period, read your perfect story, then close your eyes and meditate on it, visualizing every aspect. See yourself acting out every part. Do it several times a day. In the beginning, you may even have a difficult time visualizing yourself doing these things. Fear may rise up within you, but just take baby steps until you can get through your whole story with excitement. Work through it in your mind until you can do it. By doing this, you'll begin to change your imprint by replacing it with a new picture and circumstances.

Here is a true story of just how powerful our subconscious mind is and how we can use it to overcome barriers in our life. Last year someone gave me a meditation cassette that included a visualization of a forest meadow. In the meditation, the narrator told the listeners to take off our shoes and run through the meadow on tall blades of grass.

However, because I was afraid that I would step on something and hurt my feet, even though it was only a visualization, I could not take off my shoes at first. Eventually I worked my way to taking off my shoes and leaving on my socks, then taking off my socks but walking around looking at the ground, to eventually running barefoot through the meadow. That shows just how crippling our minds can make us. But by changing your mental imprinting you can also change your physical outcomes.

Lastly, you can also turn your story into positive affirmations that you can write down and read throughout the day or even record on a tape player. Affirmations can help to replace your old thinking with new and more productive thoughts.