being a loving and most of all patient mother to my sons

i am a wife of 10yrs and a mother to 5 sons, i am not patient with them because most of the time they drive me crazy, what i hate the most is how i act and say things when they are like this which is everyday.... i am afraid on how my sons will think of me when they grow up and lead their own life with their wives in the future....i want to become more of a loving patient kind mother they deserve and not the grouchy angry stressed mother they get. i am looking for a christian book to help me understand areas that i have problems with. i also work in a nursing home and what sickens me too is that i become this patient person to them and help them but when i come home i'm nothing like that to my own children....cause most of the time im stopping arguements or yelling for them to do something , schooling is becoming stressful....i hate the person i am. i want to be a better mother is what i want...can u please help me... i live in flatonia texas