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Discipline of my (mildly) Autistic Son

by Denise
(Eagan, Mn, USA)

my son gets intense in-home behavior therapy and their faulty philosophy is there should be no consequences for bad choices and he should be redirected to the proper behavior. We are in the process of getting rid of them but 1st need a plan in place to home school and teach him and parent him.

Can you help us know where to start in our plans? We are new parents and are unsure of ourselves and want the best for him. I believe in spanking but don't want to use it the wrong way or too often, for instance:
he says he has to potty but then he doesn't go, this is usually when he doesn't want to do what he's doing (to avoid working, etc.)

He will be 6 in may.

Comments for
Discipline of my (mildly) Autistic Son

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Autism is complicated and will challenge your assumptions.
by: Anonymous

Good luck with your son. My autistic son will be 5 soon and we struggle with what often appears to be the 'no consequence, just redirect' approach of his caregivers. The fact of the matter is that your son will receive many negative consequences from his bad decisions throughout life. I have come to realize that educators are simply trying to make sure that your child does not associate them with a negative experience and cease cooperating in educational and other settings. You may control unwanted behaviors through spanking, when you are there to restrict him, however the long term lesson you teach is that you have the power and will use it to control him. You will not achieve the lesson that his bad behaviors brought on the consequence. Read more about the psychological toll that corporal punishment takes on children and search yourself for the inner strength that it takes to solve behavior problems without violence. Don't hit your kid. It is wrong and it will make you the least effective member of his support system.

Love and prayers
by: Katherine Harms

I have never worked with an autistic child. I can only imagine the challenge of finding the best ways to help him mature to his best ability. I echo Karen's recommendations, and I add a suggestion that there might be parent groups in your hometown or on the web who could help you find your way.
I pray that God will lead you to the right resources. May his love for you and your love for your child bear fruit in your son's life to the glory of God.

Help for your Son
by: Karen

Hi Denise,

I wish I had some expertise to offer you in this area. We disciplined our special needs daughter a little differently than we disciplined our son. We expected right behavior from both of them, so as they were growing up we dealt with each issue as it arose.

We realized early on that we couldn't treat both of them the same though. If we would've done that, we would've been treating one of them wrong.

No two kids are the same and what works for one doesn't always work for the other.

As for the home schooling plans, here is a wonderful website that has some great free stuff on it.

www.christian-parenting-resource.com

I also think you should talk to your pediatrician to get a referral to some special needs professionals in your area.

Best of luck,

Karen

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