disgusted and tired

Rev. Lee, I married Bennie White three years ago, I was a single, saved parent already of 4 children. I lived a celibate life for eight years before Bennie came into the picture. I married Bennie, we really didn't date long. I was a little to excited after waiting eight years, I figured as long as we had God, all would be well. I later after the marriage found out that Bennie was a backslider, and he has committed adultery on me more than once, or twice, he has walked out on me and my family so many times I can not count on my fingers. I also had another child by him he is two. I decided that I wasn't going to allow myself to be treated like that so the last time he walked out on me was a year ago in Aug. We have been back together but it seems like every time we get back together, things are good the first two months, and then after that, I don't know, Our marriages just seems like.... I don't even have the words to describe. He does not communicate well at all that is what really bothers me, he is selfish, doesn't have sex with me at first it was because of my size after I had my fifth son, I am a beautiful lady but I have some extra weight on me. He has gained alot of weight but the nerve to tell me that he couldn't get with my shape? Since we have been together we had had sex frequently, but most of the time, I was the initiater. Out of nowhere, things happen and they change our course of marriage and it is like we live in the same house, but are separated. I have been done wrong by men to the point, that I have gone numb. I can't get through to him concerning how I really feel. He didn't mind sleeping with them hoores in the street, but can't be intimate with his godly wife that has a few extra pounds on her? And he is big himself? What is the issue here? I have put up with this mess for over three years now. we sleep in the bed and now, don't even touch one another. It is so much but what bothers me more than anything is that he is not intimate. Nor does he communicate or understand me. What should I do?