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Drugs and Alcohol

by Trisha
(Detroit, MI)

Rev Lee,

I am at my wits end. My husband has been addicted to drugs and alcohol for longer than I can remember. He has been to rehab twice, but he just can't seem to stay sober.

We have three kids under 7 years old, who love their dad. If it weren't for the drugs and alcohol, he would be a model husband and father.

He isn't abusive, even when he drinks or uses. He just withdraws. He seems to function normally at his job and he has lots of friends.

But knowing that his drugs and alcohol could affect my kids, I just don't know what to do next. I don't want to leave him because I'm financially not able to make it with 3 kids on my own.

I feel like I'm caught in a no win situation.

Comments for
Drugs and Alcohol

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Sep 21, 2009
 Response to "Drugs and Alcohol"
by: Lee Baucom

Trisha, I think you have a way-too-common situation. Addictions are rampant in our society, and come in many forms.

In fact, I believe that our biology is wired for addictions -- originally a way for us to crave chemicals in foods that have high caloric levels. In other words, the same wiring that gets us caught on alcohol, drugs, sex, work, gambling, etc., etc., etc., once kept us alive. We craved sugary foods, fatty foods.

Only recently in human history has there been no need for that, but those parts of our body still survive, and find other things to connect to, often with destructive results. The new items don't keep us alive. They limit our living.

As always in addictions, your husband suffers from both an illness and a behavior. More than that, addictions become a spiritual issue as we keep looking for something to make us feel OK. And down we go!

You can't control his behavior, but you do need to decide how you will live with it. I always recommend AlAnon to the spouse of any addict. AlAnon is an excellent resource to help you determine your boundaries and how you fit into the pattern. Not all groups are the same. Some are better than others. So, try out a few.

Stay healthy, and keep moving forward!

Blessings.

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