Enduring the Wait - Part 2

by Andrea Onah
(Surrey, UK)

Recently my husband and I received some fantastic news regarding some underlying issues that my husband had to deal with for most of his adult life. This victory was a major step forward in his life and also in our lives together as a couple.

His is a marvelous story of faith in God and courage that defied all odds and every expert opinion. Many shared and celebrated the joy of our news knowing to some extent what my husband endured. Several congratulated me on being this 'amazing woman', as they put it, in standing by her man through the boisterous storms.

The truth is, the power of God went to work in both us and produced this one in a million testimony. But the details of that story are for another day.

In my quiet moments, when I think of our journey of faith, I often cannot help marveling at the wonder, wisdom and beauty of God. You see, many times we desire things, want things even, things that may not necessarily be 'bad' for us. But too often we feel cheated at why it appears to be taking an eternity for God to seemingly just pick up our call!

For many single women who have prayed incessantly to meet the man of their dreams, it often seems that the more they pray, the more Mr Right persists in staying off the radar. Understandably, waiting for Mr Right can seem frustrating at best of times and for some, even depressing.

But there is hope...

I have learned that timing is of major importance to receiving the best from God. The right thing at the wrong time is and will always be the wrong thing. A prince does not run the palace when he is but a toddler. No! He has to reach an age of maturity even if he is the inheritor.

Why is this? Because he is not mature to deal with royal intricacies that such duties demand. A toddler wants to play with toys not bark orders - well apart from getting others to pick up their toys for them! If no responsible parent would give their ten year old a car to drive no matter how tall and big that ten year old might be in stature, why do we expect God to be irresponsible when giving us gifts?

Often we have to develop some more, grow, flex our faith muscles a little more in order to receive those wonderful gifts God has for us. Remember, He is not withholding anything good which He has promised us as His children.

God did not take the children of Israel to their Promised Land immediately following their exodus from Egypt even though He had promised them the land. God knew that prematurely taking the Israelites to a land which had rightfully been given them, may bring about difficult issues which they would not be strong enough to handle.

Prematurely getting to the land would have caused unnecessary fear to rise in the hearts of the Israelites and turn their already hardened hearts away from God - as if they needed an excuse mind you!

God recognized this and wanted to prevent a human catastrophe. So He took His children on a more protracted journey through the wilderness.

God intimately knows His children, make no mistake there. You see, it is in those wildernesses that we are prepared and groomed. That way we can receive gifts from Him more graciously and with maturity in the same way an adult would receive the gift of a car better than a ten year old. Jesus Himself spent time in the wilderness before starting His ministry. The wilderness is where you are taught by the Spirit.

Today I can say with confidence, thank God I got married when I did. Hindsight is a beautiful thing, especially when you can look back and see God at work. For certain I can assert that if I had married earlier I would not have been able to cope with the challenges I faced, given what my level of maturity was like back in those earlier times.

Who but God knows what the eventual outcome may have been had I tied the proverbial knot prematurely!

But an all wise God had been preparing me to be the perfect wife for my wonderful husband. All God would require from me would be my cooperation in His plan. God knew my husband. God knew me. God knew the good traits in my husband, which are many I must add. God knew how these good characteristics would compliment me.

But God also knew the issues my husband was dealing with; issues that would come with the status quo of being married to him.

Didn't the Promised Land that God gave the Israelites come with giants after all? Why do we then assume that because God gives us something there should be no challenges? No, there will be giants in every marriage. What we need to ascertain is how to face those giants.

For my part, learning how to face the giants meant I would have to grow in maturity. During my waiting years as a single woman, I purposely developed a rich intimacy with God.

Goodness...thank God I did. That intimacy was what gave me the solid foundation to rely on nothing but God in the storms. That intimacy taught me to learn to discern God's voice correctly and to heed to His instructions.

I learned to sit at His Feet like a child would to a natural father. That intimacy taught me patience and perseverance, vital attributes to deal with the challenges my husband and I met with. That intimacy taught me faith, a vital key that would unlock many doors of blessings in our marriage. That intimacy was what groomed me to be this 'amazing woman' many would see and remark later.

The wilderness years are the preparatory years and not the torture or grumbling years. What am I saying? Simply this, do not lose heart when God seems slow. Don’t complain like the Israelites did. No, see the positive side.

Esther prepared herself with all the beauty routines and regimes for a whole year before being presented to the king. And that was merely a physical preparation. And the outcome? When the king saw Esther, he could not resist her.

How are you preparing for your king and marriage? Would your marriage resist anything that may try to threaten it later? Are you shaping up spiritually?

Yes, before contemplating marriage, it is necessary to prepare spiritually. The spiritual is what governs everything, good or bad. It is what provides the solid foundation for the structures in life. The spiritual is what is needed to endure the contrary winds that come with the territory of life, marriage being no exception!

Without spiritual preparation, frustration could very quickly find its place in your marriage. And frustration can bring with it ugly fruits such as separation and divorce. No, it is better to be prepared now through waiting!

Learn to see your waiting time as preparation time. Stop crying, stop complaining. Instead spend time in rich fellowship with Him. Like a farmer that cultivates his land before planting, cultivate this waiting time by making yourself available in the things of God. You'll soon discover you are unwittingly picking up skills and talents and many things that would ultimately form the basis of a good, solid marriage.

Know that as you are being prepared and cultivated, you are becoming the best and perfect wife you could ever be for your intended husband. And I can promise you after all is said and done, you would surely look back one day in the future and echo like me, it was certainly worth the wait.