Enduring the Wait

by Andrea Onah
(Surrey, UK)

I was at a wedding of a friend recently. The bride was young. The flowers and dress looked amazing. The groom was beaming ear to ear. The groom had that look of confident assurance that he knew what he was doing. I sure hope so, ha.

It was a perfect day. Nice weather, people flashing near white teeth at cameras, everyone saying the bride looked beautiful and so on and so forth. I sat quietly in the church pew, musing. I was thinking of my own wedding day. It had been a perfect day too. The flowers and dress had looked amazing. My groom had been beaming ear to ear. Yes, he too looked like he knew what he was doing. I still hope so!

I had been a not so ‘very’ young bride, however. Actually my birth certificate had put me somewhere between mid to late thirties. In comparison to the young bride, I had endured the ‘wait’. Or had I?

Sometimes, and even more so as we approach the so-called wrong side of thirty, forty or whatever, a veil of desperation can almost mask our identities as Christians who trust that God has our best interest at heart.

Age twenty five comes and goes, no man. We encourage ourselves that we have time. Not too long after, it’s the big thirty’s birthday bash. Where on God’s earth, is he? Now it’s the family who tell us we have time.

At thirty-five, friends throw a sedate surprise birthday party for us. We smile throughout, trying to mask our inward conflict that the single life is okay.

Thirty-six comes much sooner than expected. At thirty-seven, we start pretending we no longer care. By thirty-eight, we wish we could break the time clock. After that, we strategize on how to forget birthdays.

All the while, an assortment of alarm bells has been ringing erratically, the tick-tock of the biological clock slowing down, on a stop-start, or broken, the sirens of the fear of staying single forever, or the distress signals of simply being lonely. Even the independent woman is secretly contemplating that she would trade a fatter salary, ten-bedroom mansion and a smaller gym trained waistline for the man of her dreams!

But, on a more uplifting note, does "the wait" have to sound this depressing?

Marriage is sober business. God created it, instituted it and expects that if we are contemplating it, then we must do it for the right reasons entirely. The cure for the long wait cannot be a hasty or a desperate wedding. Either that or you’d be walking out of marriage for the wrong reasons. Or worse, running.

The reality is this, if we get so caught up with our desires to be married, or anything for that matter ... and so desperately too ... we miss our calling and purpose in life.

Whatever God wishes for us or whatever His plans are for us, single or married, we do not need to "endure" the long wait. We can choose to be happy now.

God recognizes us regardless of our marital status. Whether married or single, we were created for His Glory. We were created to enjoy a rich fellowship with Him. We are also here on earth to spread the Good News of this wonderful, enriching fellowship we share with a loving God.

That is what we will give account of when we meet with God one day. If we have not learned to enjoy Him now, I think some of us are going to find Heaven a tad boring!

As we embrace these truths, the question of whether we marry or not, how long we wait or not, will cease to consume our every thought. And it would also prevent a lot of tear drenched pillows in the process.

I found this out. I learned to love God with my whole being, irrespective. I started enjoying a richer fellowship with Him so much so that by the time my would-be husband decided to finally whisk into the scene, the Holy Spirit and I were already having a wild time together. This communion with Him was what I desired the most, more than anything. It was sweet and it sure was fun.

Frankly, I had come to a point where I was happy and content, married or not. I felt whole and complete. I was complete in Him. And I had discovered just in time that the "wait" could be fun after all!