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Getting over Jealousy

by Shelly
(Chicago, Illinois)

I read your articles on jealousy and even though they sound good, I'm living with it and it's still really hard for me.

My husband looks at pornography on the internet and no matter what I say or do he won't stop. I've tried to get him to go to counseling, but he says I'm the one with the problem.

I feel so jealous and alone. Our kids don't understand what's going on and I don't know what to tell them.

What do you do about a mess like this?

Comments for
Getting over Jealousy

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Oct 30, 2007
 I know it is a mess...
by: Anonymous

I lived the way you are living now for many years. My husband was addicted to internet porn. I was aware that he was looking, but for years, passed it off as nothing. When he began comparing me to the 24-year-old and under girls he was looking at, it was more than I could stand. While overly medicated for depression and anxiety, I even tried to play his game; be the porno for him. It did not work, and don't ever try it. I only makes you feel worse.

Keep yourself uplifted by focusing on God's word; Jesus. Ask him daily, hourly if necessary, to be for you what your husband is not. Ask Him to keep you and your children from being exposed to the porn. And ask Him to make your husband happy and whole. That is about all you can do.

Choose not to compare yourself to anyone, especially the porno girls. Choose not to judge your husband or yourself (I did those things.) and CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY ANY WAY. Your husband's addiction is NO REFLECTION ON YOU.

Keep yourself safe. My husband and I didn't make it. Things became extremely violent and unbearable for many years. PRAY, PRAY AND PRAY some more that God will intervene. As Him to provide a loving Christian home for your children. God wants Godly offspring. Ask Him to keep your children Godly.

Sep 25, 2007
 Addiction
by: Anonymous

Shelly,




Unfortunately, it sounds like your husband might be addicted. It is such a hard thing when addiction attacks your family.




I know how you feel, addiction seems to run in my family. I think the hardest thing about it is watching how it destroys families and relationships.




God's Word says that we're supposed to overcome evil with good. Prayer is your most effective weapon against all that's happening to your family. Standing against the attacks isn't easy, but keep it up. God will honor your prayers and your faith.




You might also consider going to see a Christian counselor. They will help you evaluate your options and also give you some insight on what to do with your kids. These are the kinds of problems they deal with every day.




Shelly, I will certainly keep you and your family in my prayers.




Blessings,




Karen

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