Getting Rid of Junk Thoughts

by Andrea Onah
(Surrey, UK)

Do you ever get flashbacks or memories of certain episodes of your past? In particular a relationship or courtship or perhaps a boyfriend? Pleasant or not, do you allow the feelings to linger, run ahead of you and/or take permanent residence in your mind or subconscious thereafter?

A lot of us, and I think us women in particular win the medal, have at one time or the other been guilty of at least one of the above. Some of us possess such razor sharp memories, an elephant would weep with envy.

Well I decided a while ago that memories of the past was not a game I wanted to play anymore. I came to a personal point in my life when I decided that anyone from the past that was not in my present, did not need room for my future. Especially where past liaisons with so called exes were concerned. Just how I did it, I'll tell you in a short while.

Every now and again, it is prudent to take stock of our thoughts especially those we harbor and hang onto. Just like a shop takes stock of its inventory, we've got to inventory what we have allowed to be processed into our mind. Following this, we have to turn our backs and kiss goodbye to any junk.

But what is junk?

OK, lets run with this everyday example.

Who remembers when the first flat screen televisions came out not too long ago? (Many hands go up except those who slept through that era). Well, everyone I knew rushed to get one or perhaps in fairness, nearly everyone I knew did, ha! To think that those bulky things were deemed as the best TV technology ever is almost deemed laughable today.

Fast forward to present day February 2010. How many of us still have those cumbersome boxes occupying space in our living rooms? (Few hands go up). Many have either been replaced or are being replaced with the latest LCD's and plasmas, right?

But there's one question - was anything wrong with the old TV sets?

In most instances no. But for some, yes or maybe.

Whatever the case, when we bought our new TVs, those dated TV sets got relegated to nothing more than junk whether they had been working or not. Many of those state of the art sets of yesteryear are now in exile in the garage or for those whose fate have been permanently decided, abandoned on the sidewalk!

That is the same brutality we must use in dealing with our past, whether that past was good or bad. There comes a time when we must let go to simply move on to better things. There are scriptures that support us on this, that encourage us to press ahead leaving the past behind. Just as Abram in the Bible, we have to leave the good, the bad and the ugly in order to get ahead. Oftentimes, unless we let go of the old, God will not bring in the new.

We cannot drag our past into our future. It's like trying to mix water and oil. You simply can't drive safely if you spend more time looking at the rear view mirror than the windscreen. If a relationship has ended for example, the question we should ask is does it have any place taking up precious thoughts in our mind. We need to consider this no matter how pleasant it feels to relive the moments!

Yes, we must forget the pet name Mr Oh So Charming, aka Mr Wrong, used to call us! And forget the wonderful date in that exclusive restaurant. And forget those beautiful gifts. And forget the momentos and keep-sakes. And of course, forget him. You're probably wondering by now is there anything left to remember! Hmmm....not really...not as far as he is concerned.

Now back to me, clearing the junk was a case of pressing the delete key and also emptying the recycle bin! I don't do 'green issues' when it comes to recycling relationships you see. Sounds ruthless maybe, but it was rewarding. In fact, so ruthless was the process, in some cases, I even broke contact with anyone who had very close associations with the said ex. I couldn't afford reminders however vague. I think God was trying to protect Abram from having any reminders too.

Yes, I tore up photos, gave away presents, deleted emails and did not indulge in any 'remember when' conversations. Perhaps you are thinking I was a woman scorned. No, no, no...I was closing or even barricading a door to my past and not looking back. I wasn't risking any chemical reaction experiment of turning into a pillar of salt like Lot's wife in the Bible! Friends, I was making room for my future and I needed to clear out the clutter.

Dejunking turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. My pastor often says that there are some relationships you have to lay on the altar. Only an inventory can reveal which ones. Yes, even Abram had a hard time leaving everything. He did not take a complete inventory to realize everything meant everything.

He compromised on one thing, his nephew Lot, and that caused Abram a lot of trouble. Only when Lot left permanently was Abram able to receive fully from God.

The pay off was that when I met my husband to be, Eze, there were no hang-ups and bang-ups. I had a clear conscience and since the memory pages and archives were all blank there was nobody to compare him to.

We may not see it now but maybe it paves the way for a clear road ahead. We must resist the temptation to look back. Don't conjure up thoughts that should have long been forgotten. As we clear the junk in our lives we will be making room for our future.

Final thought: Quit looking back. The future is bright once we look ahead.