Give it all to God

by Marisa Gary
(Ormond Beach, FL, USA)

Marisa Gary

"O LORD, you have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away." (Psalm 139:1-2)

We try to hide some of our most extreme feelings from God. During our most trying times, we, as Christians, tend to hide our disappointment, our anger, and our frustration from God, perhaps because we're afraid that God will think less of us if we don't take a "Job-like" stance on suffering. I think there is a problem between our hearts and our minds. Our hearts are broken and hurting, desperately seeking His grace and compassion; yet our minds tell us it is nobler to quietly accept and endure our suffering. While accepting suffering for the cause of Christ is a noble and sometimes necessary stance to take, it is not the only way.

A good friend once told me that God can handle our temper-tantrums. At once I realized that God wants and desires our true feelings. He already knows our hearts, but He wants us to come to Him and lay our troubles and our heartaches on His throne. He wants us to use the free-will he selflessly gave us so we can freely come to Him with everything.

Once I understood this concept, my entire prayer life changed. Going to God with all of my feelings, instead of just the few that I was comfortable with Him having, allowed me to be more honest with myself, with others and with God.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23-24)