Glorious God

by Alecia Klauk
(Chapin, SC)

Truly transcendent moments pass the bounds of the natural and bring into our reality the undeniably holy. I had such a moment during a breath taking time of worship.

One of my very best friends was there, too. We have enjoyed great sisterhood for a decade, but that night was extraordinary. She is walking through fire right now. There were moments I held her while she sobbed. There were others when we were on our knees, side by side, in surrendered worship. Yet others found us dancing in the river of the joy of our Maker. Still more were standing in stillness of prayer. Beautiful.

She wrote about the depth of those moments, and her eloquence speaks much louder than I can dream of. Her words will be our inspiration. Listen to the heart of my beloved Gloria:

"Sorting through the emotions surrounding my sister's AML diagnosis has been challenging---nay, near impossible. So many thoughts and feelings, and not all of them the most hopeful. Still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that she has Leukemia. It has been difficult.

But, last night was pretty cool...

Let me start by saying I am a Christian (although I'm starting to dislike that term because of all the un-christian things done in the name of Christianity that give the wrong impression of what I believe).

I believe that God is sovereign. He is all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-present. God is love and wants to see all of us saved from our sins and freely come to Him, but God is also righteous and just and won't allow sin to enter into His presence.

We need a personal relationship with Jesus to cover our sins and enter Heaven. He pursues a relationship with us, not a set of rules and religious traditions that have lost their meaning. While He pursues and calls us to relationship with Him, we have a choice to respond. I choose to trust and follow Him.

Contrary to many people's beliefs, being in a close relationship with God doesn't mean He stops all pain and suffering from affecting us. There are tons of scripture that tells how He is present with us through the mess that life on this earth flings at us.

All I can say to the question of "Why did this happen?" is that we still live in a broken world thanks to sin entering the world back in the Garden of Eden. One day all this brokenness will be made whole, but in the meantime God promises to walk through it with us.

And last night I desperately needed that reminder.

One of my favorite Christian music artists is a guy named Jeremy Riddle. His music and lyrics are powerful. Very worshipful. Rich in right theology. Filled with reminders of God's love.

One line in a song that I really like says "all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me." Afflictions eclipsed by glory. Wow. What a poetic picture of this pain and suffering being diminished by God's glorious goodness and love! I listen to Jeremy's music when my mind cannot find words to express what is in my heart.

Sunday I found out Jeremy was going to be playing at a church less than two hours away--on Monday. One of my friends told me she was going and asked if I wanted to go too. Of course! This wasn't a music concert. It was a time of worship, led by Jeremy. It was powerful.

By the third song I was in tears. I continued to cry through the next four or five songs. Each song was a reminder of God's love and presence in our lives even in the middle of pain and suffering. The heaviness I've been feeling started to break.

As I was reminded of God's goodness and His outrageous love toward me, I kept feeling lighter and lighter. It took a while, but God kept reminding me that the only promise in the middle of this battle with leukemia is that He loves me, He loves my sister, and He is with us. He loves me. He is with me. Do I believe that or not? Do I believe God is who He says He is or not? I choose to believe.

After the time of worship, they opened up the front of the church for prayer. There were many people at that particular church who are part of their prayer ministry and they went up to be available to pray with people. I hesitated. I wanted to be prayed for, but this wasn't my church. I wasn't sure. My friend that invited me there offered to go up with me. By that time there wasn't a person free to pray with me, so we stood there waiting. Soft music was still playing, people were praying and still singing and worshiping God.

When I looked up, there were three or four women who had come up around me. They asked my name and how they could pray for me. I gave them the nutshell version of my sister and leukemia. And then they prayed.

I started to relax even more. I felt a peace come over me that I hadn't felt in some time. I cried some more. I think some of them did too. All of it genuine. I did not sense any false pretense or ill motives. I also discovered that one of the ladies was healed from cancer a few years ago --the doctors went in to do the surgery after blood work and sonograms showed the cancer and tumors were very much there, but when they got in, there was nothing. Only God can do that! Very encouraging.

Then Jeremy came over and joined our prayer group. There is nothing so special about Jeremy - or anyone for that matter - that would make his prayer any different or cause me to expect a different outcome in this situation. It was just a neat experience to have someone whose music has ministered to me so much take the opportunity to minister on a very real and personal level. Jeremy prayed for my sister's healing, for her little boy to have all his needs met through this upheaval for him, and for my strength to endure. I needed that.

All in all, it was a sweet reminder last night that God is very much present, that He loves me, that He is with me in the middle of difficulties, and that He even sends other people to encourage us in ways we least expect at times when we need it most. Only a loving, personal God could do that.

Whether God heals my sister through a divine miracle or through the wisdom He has given to the doctors through our modern medicine doesn't matter --I continue to pray for her complete healing. And if God chooses to end her pain and suffering by taking her out of this broken world and bringing her home to Heaven, then I still choose to trust His love for me and believe that He will walk with me through that pain too.

Today has been lighter. Easier. I'll take it. My sister and her husband dropped off their little boy this morning on their way back to the hospital for her next round of treatments. She looks good. She's in good spirits and is ready to fight this leukemia. She is inspiring.

And just like me, she is God's. He's got us both wrapped in His arms. He loves us and is carrying us through this.

And He loves you too."

That's what faith looks like. It's raw. It's real. It's what God offers to all of us who will throw back our arms, our lives, in full surrender to all He is.

May we learn the safety of that surrender.
May we taste the joy of the letting go.
My we know, deeply and experientially, the love that cannot ever, ever, e-v-e-r let go.