Heal my Blindness, Lord.

by Fay Barlow
(Lexington)

Matthew 9: 27 – 30

When Jesus departed from there, two blind men followed Him crying out and saying, “Son of David, have mercy on us!” And when He had come into the house, the blind men came to Him. And Jesus said to them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” They said to Him, “Yes, Lord.” Then He touched their eyes, saying, “According to your faith let it be to you.” And their eyes were opened.

Jesus is asking me the same question. “Fay, do you believe I am able to do this?” He’s been asking me this question about everything I’ve attempted to do. But my answer is not like these two men.

Here are two blind men, following Jesus and crying out to Him. Remember, they are blind and they are following Him. Following Jesus around when you can see must have been hard enough. There were people constantly vying for His attention. Multitudes of people trying to get close to Him, to touch Him, like the woman with an issue of blood, just a few verses before this.

But the tenacity of these two men was incredible. I can imagine that they had been following Jesus through the town by the sound of His voice. The bumps and bruises they must have suffered as people pushed them by or moved them out of the path of Jesus and into another direction as they could clearly tell that these men were blind, didn’t stop the men from their mission of seeing Jesus.

Who knows how long their quest went on? How many days had they been tolling and grasping with their hands stretched out, hoping to touch Jesus as He walked their way?

The scripture says that the men were crying out to Him, saying “Son of David, have mercy on us.” I love the commradery they showed in their pleas. They were not only looking for a personal miracle, but for one that belonged to another.

And when they had exhausted their cries through the senses of their hands, their tongues and their ears, they used their feet as they somehow made their way into the house where Jesus was.

And He asked them a simple question, straight to the point. “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” And they answered just as simple, “Yes, Lord.” And Jesus said, “According to your faith, let it be to you.” It is interesting to me that these men didn’t explain their condition of blindness. They didn’t have to. Jesus knew their deep desire to see. And with a touch of His hands, their eyes were opened.

I struggle with the simple trust that these blind men had. After reading these verses, I sat here and tried to honestly give an answer to the same question.

Do I believe that Jesus is able to do this?

My answer was honest and sad. Part of my problem is that I don’t know how to just say a simple yes without analyzing or questioning.

Yes, I believe that Jesus is able to do anything I ask according to His will. But for me, the question is extended to “but does He want to?”
I still fight the old lie that God has a plan for everyone, except me. That yes, He can do anything but I question where I deserve it.

And if these two blind men were able to see because of their strong faith in what Jesus could do for them, I am just as blind as they were, because according to my faith, nothing will be to me.

Oh, Lord, I am like a blind man. I am hunting for you, as I have my arms stretched out, desperate to find you amongst the darkness of lies that shade my eyes. I want to follow your voice and push past bruises, both physical and emotional, to run to you and cry out once more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

And when you ask that question, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” I want to put aside my analytical tumultuous thoughts. I want to drown out the enemy in my mind and confident in faith, I want to say, “Yes, Lord.”