Hope in a Small Soul

by Alecia Klauk
(Chapin, SC)

I love surprises. I love the startled delight of something I did not expect. Something unanticipated.

I also love the little things, the small tokens of tangible attention we receive from God, reminding me that He sees and hears and loves even little me.

For Christmas this year, and even given early on Christmas Eve, I received an incredible surprise in a very small package and with it, a great hope in all things good.

I got a soul for Christmas. Rather, God did. But I got to watch.

Let me give you some context. This Christmas season has been remarkably hectic. With five children, there is always a lot to do, but with five children in lots of activities for Christmas, there is a whole lot to do.

We have been home only a handful of evenings the entire month, and for a few weeks there, none at all. Busy.

It has been a long season, but it has also been a long year. A lot of loss and pain and processing. It has been full of great suffering in many ways, and I have been anxious to move through Christmas to move on to the next year and hold on for relief. Painful.

But, even with busyness and pain, I have been trying to hold on to the truth of finding contentment at the feet of Jesus. I wanted to slow down my spirit even while my body and mind had to keep going. So I am here, on Christmas Eve, still sane. Thankful.

So busy and processing pain but still thankful for the hand of my God holding me, we have been keeping important Christmas traditions going. Colossians 1:29 is such a comfort: I strive with HIS energy!

One of our traditions is to bake a birthday cake for Jesus. With all the busy, I had forgotten about it this year until my kids reminded me. It is apparently pretty important to them, and so I knew we'd find time to do it. That time presented on Christmas Eve.

As we were making a chocolate cake, I explained to the kids again what sin is. I told them that it is like the dark brown chocolate, the darkness in the heart, the bad things we do, where we need to be forgiveness.

And I told them that we would cover the dark cake with white icing, because that's what Jesus did. When He died on the cross, He covered our sin and made us pure, white, clean.

I looked at each of my children, and in that second, recounted each of their conversion stories, all of which I had the privilege of witnessing.

Sierra was 4, riding in the car home from preschool. We had talked about salvation and the cross for months, and she was finally ready. With great urgency, she wanted to pray, which she did, totally on her own and in her own words. That was September 10, 2003.

Serenity was also 4, and also riding in the car. We also had talked about salvation and the cross for months, and she too was finally ready. Again, also with great urgency, she wanted to pray, again on her own. That was August 25, 2006.

Summit and Venture were born together, and they were also born again together. They too were 4. Again, having been concentrating on what salvation requires for months, they heard the story of the prodigal son, and something clicked. They wanted that Daddy God for themselves. Using their own words, they prayed to receive Christ. That was April 3, 2008.

When Ranger turned 4, my heart began to earnestly pray for his salvation. Of course, we had been praying for his soul his entire life, even in the womb, but it just became more concentrated once he turned 4.

I love symmetry. I wanted them all to be 4, but not at the cost of not being sure. I wanted it but would not rush it either. So we have been instructing him in righteousness at every opportunity and waiting.

As I prepared to mix the cake together, I rejoiced over the redemption of four of my children and begged God again for the fifth. I told each of my children that I was so happy that they had asked Jesus to cover their dark hearts with His forgiveness, and I told Ranger that I hoped one day he would do the same.

Serenity seized the moment and asked, "Do you want to do that now?" I had little hope, didn't expect any response from him. When I had asked him the same question many times, he would say things about liking dinosaurs or wanting some cheese. He just wasn't there yet. So I did not anticipate anything big from him, especially with us all gathered around the table, ready to bake together.

But he said, "Yes!" Right then with the purity of a child, he folded his little hands and simply said, "Oh Jesus I'm sorry I did all of the bad things I did and thank You for dying on the cross. Finished." He opened his eyes and smiled the biggest smile he's ever smiled!

My spirit did what it did when my other kids got saved. Doubted! I went racing through what is really required and frantically asked, "Is this enough?" But finally, on the 5th child, I quieted quickly and realized that while I would love for him to write me a fully defended dissertation on systematic theology, all that is really required is, "I'm sorry. Thank you." He spoke sanctification, propitiation, justification in those words. And he was born again!

And we saw fruit of his salvation quickly and remarkably. When he wanted something but had to wait, he calmly said, "I need to obey, Daddy." That's strikingly different from his norm. He wanted to pray over dinner, very responsive and with a natural ease. He also was thrilled as we took him to buy his first Bible and did not want to even wait until we got home to be read from it. He acted different just that fast. Fruit. Sweet confirming fruit.

So just like his sisters and brothers, at 4, my Ranger is now also born again. I just love symmetry.

And my Brian said with incredible joy and relief, "I can die now." They are all safe, for all eternity. Is there anything more we want as parents? Is there any greater gift? We're looking down on cloud 9 right now!

I'll never forget to bake that cake again. December 23, 2009, Christmas Eve Eve, is Ranger's spiritual birthday, and we will celebrate the birth of Jesus and the rebirth of Ranger every year through a chocolate cake with white icing. Traditions commemorate, and these holy birthdays cannot be forgotten.

Hope is the anticipation of coming good. God incarnate offering eternal peace in the tiny package of a baby surely qualifies. The soul of my little boy receiving that offer and now secure for all eternity does, too.

As gifts will be opened in the next days, I can think of no greater gift: the doorway open then and my son walking through it now.

So Happy 2000+ Birthday, Jesus, and Happy 0th spiritual birthday, Ranger. Happy indeed. Gloriously, humbly, enthusiastically, thankfully, rip roaringly happy!