How to Gain Self Esteem

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How to Gain Self Esteem .... Start with 5 Steps

How to gain self esteem.....it's complicated....it's so elusive....and in so many cases, a woman with low self esteem finds it more and more difficult to recognize the problem, let alone take steps to fix it.

Your own self esteem is so intricately woven into who you are that it literally controls your thoughts, which in turn, controls your actions. I don't think there is anyone who can tell you scientifically how to gain self esteem because it's not a scientific process.

Nonetheless, whether you realize it or not, you are always in the process of either gaining or losing self esteem. And by extension, you're either building or tearing down someone else's self esteem just by the words you use everyday.

The good news is that there are some concrete things that can help you learn how to gain self esteem in yourself and the people around you.

These steps can be life changing if you commit to them and make them a part of your every day life.

Step 1: Stop negative self talk. Self talk is the ongoing conversation you have with yourself. Every time you hear yourself saying and affirming negative stuff about yourself TO yourself, STOP IT. Don't let one more negative thing about you get planted in your mind.

Step 2: Say positive things to yourself every single day. Every morning and every night make it a point to say nothing but positive, self esteem building stuff to you. You will be amazed how much better you will feel about yourself and your life. Remember, you have to teach yourself how to gain self esteem first, then you can teach others.

Learn how to improve your self esteem. Life Changes that line up with God's Plan.

Step 3: Stop inflicting negative junk on other people. Every time you hear yourself saying something negative to someone else....STOP IT. Don't be responsible for filling someone else with negative junk. Showing patience, gentleness, and kindness will go a long ways toward building up the self esteem in someone else.

Step 4: Don't let yourself get caught up in tearing others down behind their backs. Some of the worst things you can do are gossip, tell negative stories about others, or break the confidence of someone who placed their trust in you. When people find out what you said about them it can be a devastating blow to their self esteem because they believe what they hear, whether it's true or not.

Step 5: SET the example of right behavior to others. Don't just tell them; show them by building other people up on purpose. Look for positive things to say by using God's Word as a guide. Eventually people will get the idea that you're not interested in listening to a bunch of negative junk. Self esteem improvement in others will only come if you help the process every chance you get.

Helping the process also includes finding out what your true self esteem looks like.

I decided to take this FREE self esteem test so I could give you a place to start. It's really excellent. The tools are practical, real, and can make a huge difference as you're learning how to gain self esteem. Here's my full review of this test.

The Bible says words are containers for power. So just by inference, words can be either the best tool or the worst ammunition in your relationships with other people. Who knew there was so much power in something you say or do everyday without even thinking?

Most people don't consciously think about all the stuff they hear every day. They don't consider who is talking, what they're saying either directly or indirectly, or how much credibility the person really has. They simply go about their day, listening to whoever talks, and even worse....BELIEVING and accepting what they hear as true and letting all that stuff tear down or help them gain self esteem in their own minds, depending on what they hear.

When you consider the negative stuff you inflict on yourself through your own self talk....well, it's no wonder your self esteem isn't where it should be. And by extension, it's no wonder your spouse and kids can't figure out how to gain self esteem either, when you're doling out all that negative stuff on them too.

Making sure you're thinking and speaking the right stuff can be a real challenge. Making a conscious effort to program in the right stuff can be extremely helpful.

I recently came across some wonderful Christian meditation CD's. These CD's are guided. They take you through lots of great stuff that God wants you to be dwelling on. You might want to give these a try if you have trouble dealing with negative thoughts.

Experts say women need to speak at least 12,000 words a day. Men usually need to speak less, about 6,000 words daily. That means women need to speak twice as much as men. For whatever reason, that doesn't shock me....

As Christian women, what an opportunity to be self esteem builders. If words are truly containers for power, then we can surely set the example by focusing on all that's positive in ourselves and by encouraging and fostering self esteem improvement in the people around us.

Just remember that teaching others how to gain self esteem starts and ends with you and the words you use.

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More Resources on How to Gain Self Esteem

How to Build "Kid Self Esteem"

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