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husband having an affair with highschool girlfriend

by Pam
(NC)

My husband is not a christian and he won't stop having a relationship with his high school girlfriend.
We got into a very bad argument 2 weeks ago and the kids and I moved out-he would not agree to move out.
I also lost my job that same week , so finances are very low.
I love my husband but he seems to be pushing the relationship away instead of dong everything he can to mend the relationship. He says he doesnt see how I could forgive him and our marriage had problems before all ths happened(excuse for his poor choice) During the last month he has "tried" to stop "talking" to her but ends right back in the relationship.
My heart is broken as are the kids.

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husband having an affair with highschool girlfriend

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Dec 27, 2009
 Response to "husband having an affair with highschool girlfriend"
by: Lee Baucom

Pam, your husband is caught in the trap of an infatuation. The chemical cascade in our brains at this stage of a relationship is really no different than when someone takes a narcotic. In other words, he is intoxicated with the feeling of infatuation. That is why he is having a hard time getting past it.

Really, it is a good bit like someone trying to break any addiction. The addiction pulls someone back in when their defenses are low. The only thing that will work is a commitment to steer clear, actions that back it up, and a connection somewhere else.

While he is disconnected with you, he doesn't have that other place for connection.

Separation is rarely the answer during these situations, since it only allows the other person unencumbered access, and feeds the addiction.

Make it clear that the relationship must end, that the marriage can be saved, that you do want to stay married, and that you forgive him. Also, ask for his forgiveness for the places the marriage could have been stronger on your part.

My hope is he will see the err of his ways and decide to move back toward you. If he does, be sure and work through my materials together.

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