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Husband saved but not living for God

by Alena
(Blountville, Tn)

Hi Rev Lee, I feel lost for words for my husband which I love so much. He got saved 3 years ago and 2 years ago he got baptized. But he is never happy with anything he has. He has a wonderful wife, three beautiful children and has an home that is financed through our Mortgage company. He lost his mother four years ago today. And his father last December. But he has always not wanted to go to church. Even though he grew up in church. And he is always angry about every one and everything. From not having enough money, to the neighbors, being of different color to his job not being the way he wants it. He's hateful with me and the kids. I've prayed and the Lord will fix him in his time not mine. But I would like some advice of how to deal with him through his trials. Thank you so much. Sincerely a concerned wife.

Comments for
Husband saved but not living for God

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Sep 15, 2009
Response to "Husband saved but not living for God"
by: Lee Baucom

Let's go ahead and agree to one obvious truth: we, as humans, have no capacity of making someone act the way we want them to. You can't make your husband act differently, have different attitudes, have more faith, etc.

You can, however, decide how you wish to be treated. That is, you must choose to maintain your boundaries. A boundary is simply this: what you will not allow someone to do to you.

This is different than a standard, which is something you expect of yourself. For example, a standard is "I will treat others with respect." A boundary is "you must treat me with respect." To go a step further, you can't say to someone, "you must treat everyone with respect." Since that person goes about their day, you can't enforce that, practically speaking.

I would focus only on how you insist that your husband treat you and your children (we often have to protect children's boundaries until they can do so themselves).

My book devotes an entire chapter on setting and maintaining boundaries. I hope you will take a look at it, so that you can take care of what is in your control.

Blessings to you!

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