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I cheated what now?

I cheated on my husband with our reverent (I know this is a disgrace and I did the worst thing ever) before our first born. I know this is terrible and I do not need condemnation because I know what I did was wrong. I know it was the biggest sin I could ever commit and I would take it back only if I could. I am a christian. I know God forgave me because I confessed so many times, but I can not forgive myself. Should I confess to my husband and hurt him so deeply or should I just live with the guilt forever and try to make this work? I love him so much and our marriage is so strong at the moment. It was not at the time I cheated.I just need some advice please.

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I cheated what now?

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Dec 04, 2009
 Response to "I cheated what now?"
by: Lee Baucom

If I understand your situation, your affair was with your minister. Is that correct? If it is, your minister is in deep need of help. This is considered by every denominational group to be sexual abuse. While you already understand that you did something you should not have done, he was responsible, as a professional, to keep it from happening.

That said, you do have a choice to make, and I can't make it for you. If you decide not to tell your husband, you need to release this and never bring it up. If you tell, you need to accept the consequences. Unfortunately, while we have a loving, forgiving God, there are earthly consequences to behavior. That is what you are facing now.

Examine why you want to tell. Is it to strengthen your marriage or to make yourself feel better? Either can be true, but if it is to make yourself feel better, it will be at his expense.

I would suggest you find someone who is safe that you can confess this to, and let that person stand beside you through your own pain, then decide what you want to do.

Blessings to you in your healing. And please consider reporting your minister. He will victimize others.

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