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Submitted by: Lee Baucom

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If I understand your situation, your affair was with your minister. Is that correct? If it is, your minister is in deep need of help. This is considered by every denominational group to be sexual abuse. While you already understand that you did something you should not have done, he was responsible, as a professional, to keep it from happening. That said, you do have a choice to make, and I can't make it for you. If you decide not to tell your husband, you need to release this and never bring it up. If you tell, you need to accept the consequences. Unfortunately, while we have a loving, forgiving God, there are earthly consequences to behavior. That is what you are facing now. Examine why you want to tell. Is it to strengthen your marriage or to make yourself feel better? Either can be true, but if it is to make yourself feel better, it will be at his expense. I would suggest you find someone who is safe that you can confess this to, and let that person stand beside you through your own pain, then decide what you want to do. Blessings to you in your healing. And please consider reporting your minister. He will victimize others.

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