I Made a Difference and Found the Good Shepherd

by Toni
(Ohio)

About 20 years ago I made a difference in an old run-down county home building in Newark, Ohio. The building, which still stands is four stories tall, built in the 1920’s, large and imposing and has served as a TB sanatorium, county home and is now being used as a community health center. It was here in this old building where I did volunteer work with the elderly, the handicapped and the mentally challenged.

At the time, I was in my middle 30’s, married to a wonderful husband, had no children, was not going to school, did not hold down a job outside of the home-- and I wanted to make a difference. I guess maybe I’ve always wanted to help others but as I’ve grown older, the need to do so has increased. Also, in my lifetime I’ve seen many people—children and adults alike discouraged and treated badly—mostly through physical and mental abuse, and have wanted in a small way to help those who were hurting. At that time, my grandma had just recently died from bone cancer, and there was vacuum that needed filling. It was strange the timing of this activity; but the coincidence of finding these people and then helping them, was perfect. I needed this volunteer work, I think, for comfort and guidance and they needed me for hope and love.

What brought this special kind of volunteer work to me began as a trip to my local YWCA. It was on a warm summer day when I spoke with a woman named Barbara who helped me get started. She was in charge of volunteer work for the elderly and handicapped and I knew when I met her that she would be a blessing. She stood about five foot five; pretty face with classic features and when she spoke it was with dignity and purpose. She told me that they had a particular need for someone very special to work at an old, local county home. She said that not everyone would be interested in the work because these people were considered outcasts, men and women who had been put aside. She asked if I would be interested. Loving a challenge and I agreed to do it. Thus began a three-year stint visiting over 30 people—all ages, situations and so forth—and visiting with them at least once a week. Found out months later that only one other person came to visit these people and she had been in charge of a local children’s home for years. After I talked with her awhile one day, I recalled her name and that her reputation at the children’s home was an excellent one.

I had no idea what I was getting into and looking back, it was good that I didn’t. These homeless people had mental and physical problems that were deep and dark. Some couldn’t comprehend what you were saying to them, others were physically ill---diabetes and so forth and others just wanted to be left alone.
There were a few who were wheel chair bound and they were the ones I tried to spend some extra time with.

There was one man in particular, Richard, who had a skin problem and who, at first, wouldn’t talk with me…He was on the tall side, in his 60’s, somewhat attractive, very shy and hesitant on meeting anyone new. He didn’t want to have anything to do with me. It took months before he would acknowledge me but when he did, it was so worth the wait. Three months later, when he saw me come into a room, his eyes would light up, he’d smile and he was anxious to see if I brought him anything. I often brought gifts—stationery, clothes and personal needs. If I gave him something, he acted like it was Christmas. Then, it got to the point where he would talk with me…. It was wonderful! Years later, before he died we had a long talk and I confided in him that I felt closer to him than I did my own father. He didn’t say much, only smiled and I’ll never forget how wonderful I felt at that moment, loved and special. He was a lonely, quiet man but what a difference he made in my life. Several months later I heard that he died suddenly and a vacuum crept into my heart that has never been filled.

The administration at the county home often made it difficult to visit because they were beaurocratic and small-minded. They didn’t want anyone changing things-outsiders were not welcome but as time went on and they got to know me, they allowed me to do more. Later, I was allowed to take a few of them out to lunch, or to a store or just a drive. These small trips did wonders for their morale—they brightened up and began looking forward to “Toni’s visits.”

As I continued my visits more people of the home died, several women in particular who I had gotten close to. One was Blanche, who was a former alcoholic. She died of cancer and it was a painful death. I did what I could with prayers to comfort her. I feel, with God’s help, I did her some good. Another died of brain cancer and I will never forget her words to me one day when she was trying to get my attention, “Toni, I hope someday you’ll find time to talk with me, too!” To this day, I do whatever I can to be patient and take time for those in need, be it family or friends. She taught me that there’s an end to everyone and everything and that the end of one’s life could be today or 10 years from now and that it’s important to pay attention to people and things that matter. Will never forget her.

Another woman I will never forget was a woman known as “Mae.” She was small in stature, spunky, wrote many Biblical tracts and handed them out to anyone interested and was always hungry and always the first to be in the “chow line.” I learned from her that it’s important to make yourself known, spread the word of God, to enjoy food and be patient. With little Mae, it was vital to be patient with her, for she was a bit trying. But patient I was, at least most of the time. In the end she died of pneumonia but she didn’t die along—which she feared the most. She had people of the home around her and she knew I cared about her. Another one I will never forget.

Working at the county home taught me is that life is short, that it is to be lived—and lived well and that no matter the person—good or bad—physically or mentally ill or well—it’s important to try and do one’s best with what God has given you! These people struggled and ended up in a county home---the last place before one is on the street and they made the most of it. They did well because they had God on their side and they had each other….and they had me for their friend. But, I think I gained the most because of their honesty, pureness of heart and their friendship.

Why did I make these visits, week after week, year after year? Basically, I did this because I love a challenge and I enjoyed visiting with them and sharing life’s stories.

I hate to admit it but I wouldn’t be the successful, caring woman I am today without going through these rare life experiences. Those people opened my eyes to the brevity of life and how important each day, each minute is to all of us. I will never forget them—their fears, hang-ups, loneliness and how God brought me to them and with His help I was able to make life a little bit better for them. Several of them I still keep in contact by mail and by phone. I still send them presents—stamps, stationery, and needed personal items. They never fail to thank me—which is much more than I get from family and friends. They are constantly reminding me through phone calls and letters what is most important in life—being decent with each other, loving God and trusting in Him in all we do.

I’m sharing all of this with you because I want to show how each life impacts on the other. We may not always know how we affect others with our Christian acts, but believe me, those kind acts are noticed and remembered. Our Christian lives remind me so much of that wonderful hymn, “Onward Christian Soldiers.” And when you reflect on those words, aren’t we just that—Christian soldiers?

Blessings to all for a joyful and wonderful Christmas and a bright and hopeful New Year!