JEALOUS

JEALOUS

I am a married lady with one child. Lately my husband has not been so fulfilling in our relationship. I tried talking to him but he gets on the defensive side. I tried talking if there is something wrong with me, or is he stressed about something. He just ignores me and does not answer. I was just wondering what can this be. I am a young lady who needs to feel loved, and it seems that I do not get it from him.

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JEALOUS

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Dec 22, 2007

love
by: Shirley

It is difficult when you don't feel loved, and you don't mention what your beliefs are so I won't advise along those lines, but I do believe that you will have to accept your husband the way he is. Just show him all the love and respect that you can, and he might respond in a better way.

Also think of the ways that he does fulfill his role as a husband and a father. Look for the good in him instead of what you find lacking. Men often do not want to share feelings and if something is stressing him he may not tell you.

I know this doesn't give you the attention you feel you need or even solve your problem but you can not change others, only yourself. That does not mean that there is something wrong that needs changed, but maybe if you stop asking him what is wrong and just show him the attention you crave he will respond.

Don't think that there is something wrong with you. This is something inside of him, or just his personality not you.

Dec 22, 2007

Building a Strong Christian Marriage
by: Karen

Building a strong marriage is like putting up a building. You'd never think about putting up the walls of the building without the foundation in place. It simply wouldn't make sense.

There are a couple of books I think will be enormously helpful to you. The first is called The Five Love Languages.

This isn't some kind of touchy, feely book that is all fluff. It is written by Gary Chapman, a Christian marriage counselor. Chapman shows how each person receives love in their own way. What shows love to you may not be the same as what shows love to your husband.

For instance, when my husband and I first became aware of the concepts in this book I immediately knew that my primary "love language" is quality time. Nothing says love to me like when my husband spends quality time with me. Of course, a new car would perk me right up too! :)

My husband's primary love language is encouraging words. When I tell my husband how much I appreciate what he does for me and how good he is at lots of things.....he just does more stuff for me.

Discovering your husband's primary "love language" will help you tremendously because you will be able to show him love in a way he'll absolutely love to receive.

You may say, "What about me? I'm the one who isn't receiving love." Well, to that I will tell you that the very thing you want the most is the very thing you need to give away. It's God's system of economics.

The other book I would recommend for your situation is called, Save Your Christian Marriage.

Now, I'm not saying your marriage is in trouble. :) But I think this book is one of the best values out there because you not only get a book written by a Christian counselor who works with marriages every day, you get direct access to him for counsel included in the cost of the book.

It's a deal you won't find just anywhere.

This is a question that lots of us face at one time or another in our marriages, and I'm sure you'll get some more advice from other Christian women who visit this site.

I wish you all the best,

Karen

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Dec 22, 2007
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Submitted by: Karen

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Building a strong marriage is like putting up a building. You'd never think about putting up the walls of the building without the foundation in place. It simply wouldn't make sense. There are a couple of books I think will be enormously helpful to you. The first is called <a href="http://www.christian-books-for-women.com/christian-marriage-counseling.html">The Five Love Languages.</a> This isn't some kind of touchy, feely book that is all fluff. It is written by Gary Chapman, a Christian marriage counselor. Chapman shows how each person receives love in their own way. What shows love to you may not be the same as what shows love to your husband. For instance, when my husband and I first became aware of the concepts in this book I immediately knew that my primary "love language" is quality time. Nothing says love to me like when my husband spends quality time with me. Of course, a new car would perk me right up too! :) My husband's primary love language is encouraging words. When I tell my husband how much I appreciate what he does for me and how good he is at lots of things.....he just does more stuff for me. Discovering your husband's primary "love language" will help you tremendously because you will be able to show him love in a way he'll absolutely love to receive. You may say, "What about me? I'm the one who isn't receiving love." Well, to that I will tell you that the very thing you want the most is the very thing you need to give away. It's God's system of economics. The other book I would recommend for your situation is called, <a href="http://www.christian-books-for-women.com/christian-marriage-advice.html">Save Your Christian Marriage.</a> Now, I'm not saying your marriage is in trouble. :) But I think this book is one of the best values out there because you not only get a book written by a Christian counselor who works with marriages every day, you get direct access to him for counsel included in the cost of the book. It's a deal you won't find just anywhere. This is a question that lots of us face at one time or another in our marriages, and I'm sure you'll get some more advice from other Christian women who visit this site. I wish you all the best, Karen

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