Landmarks

by Tim LaVere
(West Branch, Michigan)

There are moments that shape our lives. Moments that, when we look back, we realize have helped to define who we are. I call them “landmark moments.” Each of us gets only a handful of landmark moments, but they become lasting memories. Sometimes they’re pleasant, often times they’re not.

My most important landmark moment took place on a summer’s night when I was 19 years old. Our family was planning a weekend camping getaway, a time of healing for a family that had seen it’s share of hard times. My mother wanted to unwind that night, so she told my father, “I’m going for a ride on my bike, and I’ll be right back.” But she didn’t make it home. Only a mile and a half from our home, she was struck head-on by a car and killed instantly.

At 19 I was legally an adult, but in many ways still a scared, insecure kid. However, I was forced to grow up overnight. There were funeral arrangements to be made; I had to be strong for my dad and brother. I wanted to make mom proud. In the weeks ahead I learned to cook, do laundry, take care of shopping and other household chores. My brother went back to college, and my father and I were left alone in a two-story, three-bedroom home that had never seemed so empty and quiet.

In the years since, I’ve learned how God’s hand was all over my life during that time. I believe he grieved along with my family. I believe Jesus felt the hurt I was feeling. Remember how Jesus wept at Lazarus’ grave, even though he already knew that he was about to raise Mary and Martha’s brother from the dead? I think Jesus wept because his friends were hurting! So I held on to the promise of Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (NIV). I love that promise! But it’s a conditional promise. God will turn the most painful tragedies into blessing for those who love Him, those who follow Him and hold tightly to His hand.

God used that painful time to instruct me to lead, to develop a servant’s heart, and teach me about compassion. He healed my family’s wounds, and held us as we grieved. It would be years before I knew the lessons He had taught me would be essential in my role as a Pastor.

I continually hold one to one more of God’s promises, that although mom and dad are both gone, they have eternal life. And I think they would be proud of how God has shaped my life. I know I’m grateful to Him for never leaving or forsaking me, especially during a landmark moment.