Mom, Dad and Father God

by Vanessa Barnes
(Crosby, Texas)

My recent January birthday elevated me to a point of no return, to permanent residence well on the other side of the half-century mark. I make no claim of vanity as it pertains to my age; on the contrary, I am as humbled as I have ever been.

Life to this point has seamlessly anointed my status as an official "senior citizen". I have earned membership in the class of regular recipients of the customary automated mailings from such groups as AARP and the Social Security Administration.

Nevertheless, my concern today is that too many senior citizens do not get to enjoy the trappings of this momentous occasion and I put emphasis on enjoy. As much as I would love to imagine that to be untrue, I know it is not.

When portions of America's elderly are dealt a bad hand and have no joy, no one to hold their hand, no one to say good morning and no one to wipe the tears from their faces, we, as a society, find ourselves at a crossroad of spiritual purpose.

According to Sacred Scripture, upon supernaturally entering the upper room through its locked door, Jesus extended peace to those He personally chose and spoke to them saying: "As the Father has sent me, so I send you" (John 20:21).

Question is, What exactly did the Father send Jesus, the Apostles and us to do?? I take serious this question because I believe it speaks directly to my responsibility as a daughter who professes faith in Christ.

Each day I greet my eighty-seven year old dad. I ask him how he is doing; his answer is always the same, "I am still here" and to that I jokingly reply, "well, that is better than the alternative." I do wonder however, does every senior his age believe living is indeed better than the alternative?

Unfortunately and sadly I do not believe that to be the case. Does the sentiment of so many who are left to exist and not live, survive and not thrive or just sleep and not dream anymore, match what Jesus sent us all to do?

We buried my mother two years ago this month; she was seventy-nine years old. My family has been blessed to have one or both parents "still be here" well into their later years of life and believe me, we do not take it lightly. With an enormous amount of distractions active in everyone's life today, the next obvious question becomes, do we all make time to appropriately consider our parents in light of God's intention?

For nine years prior to my mother's home going, the symptoms of a major stroke left her paralyzed and unable to care for her most basic needs. As God's timing would have it, we were able to care for her at home and I cannot tell you how many tidbits of love, joy and peace were given and received during those years.

Our heavenly Father, being steadfastly faithful to His promises, held our hands so we could hold hers. Trials not withstanding, our experience of loving her and loving God enough to self-surrender while sacrificing our own desires to meet hers, gave rise to a miracle expansion of our faith. That posture of faith caused us to give as we had.

Never one to ignore her calling to give, God always saw to it that even from her hospital bed my mom had something to give away, even if it was just her smile. You know as I think about it, sometimes a smile will be all that we have to offer and though that may be the case, it can mean the difference between a person giving up or holding on to hope.

I have no words to adequately express my feelings for the elderly and innocent. With a veritable onslaught of woes staring us in the mirror each day, we can claim any number of excuses for not stepping up to care for those who gave us life.

It is imperative we understand that the life we live took shape on the backs of those who are now weakened and wrinkled. Every crease of their worn bodies gives testament to the harsh reality of what they endured. By loving them through the weariness of their senior moments we help them maintain some degree of dignity.

It is essential we lay down the begging of the world while giving way to the urgings of God's Spirit inside of us.

How can we say we love him if we are not willing to serve or how can we say we love Him if we are not willing to empty ourselves to help carry one another's burdens?

My mother lived her life as a model of what it means to love unconditionally and I can only hope and pray that what little of myself I willingly gave up to be her servant, showed that it was a lesson learned.

In a world of instant; instant coffee, instant Internet, instant phone messaging and instant meals, we as Christ's disciples are obliged to instantly answer "yes" when our parents stand in need. It is in feeding, clothing, bathing and loving them that we are as close as we can get to an intimate relationship with the parent of our souls.


More info on how to take care of those who took care of you.