More Than More Than for Sierra

by Alecia Klauk
(Chapin, SC)

What exactly does God mean in Ephesians 3:20 when He says that He is able to do exceedingly more than we could ask or even imagine? What does that mean in the midst of pain, confusion, doubt, despair. What pot do we put that verse in when the darkness surrounds?

Some versions of that verse say that He is "able to do exceedingly, abundantly more than" we can ask. Literally, that means "more than more than." So God is able to, wants to, waits to take my highest and craziest request, meet it, and then knock me out on top of it. He wants to blow my socks off. Yours, too.

Let me tell you how He's been blowing me away lately. As you read, ask Him to show you these places in your life. They are there. We just avoid seeing them at times because we want to nurse our bitterness. But they are there. Pain has an acute skill at blinding us.

My oldest daughter Sierra was born with a cleft lip and palate. She has been through many surgeries and has more ahead of her. She is a tough and resilient child and is able to handle much more than I can. I marvel at her.

When she was born, my heart was full of so many things. I was thrilled to finally be a mom. I was in love with her. And I was scared for her. I feared surgeries and pain. I feared the world's rejection and her heartache. It was a complicated emotional field. I loved her fiercely, but I also knew that there was so much ahead we could not adequately anticipate.

There were many miracles early on. During her first surgery at only four months old, she miraculously responded to the procedure and was able to move up our time line. At the palate repair, which is the biggest and most difficult surgery, she actually had a verifiable medical miracle and had new flesh grow in her mouth. There are literally countless other examples. We have felt so held by the God who made her so fearfully and wonderfully.

Throughout her ten years, she has amazed doctors and nurses, bringing light everywhere she goes. And she has an incredible love relationship with Jesus that is all hers. She seeks Him on her own, reads and studies her Bible on her own, prays about everything on her own. Her faith is truly her own.

We have been blessed with many years of consistent acceptance and true friends. But still, there has always been this nagging fear in the back of my heart for her heart. When will the time come when the safety we feel is in any small way shattered? When will the bullies come? I knew they had to, especially as we approach the end of elementary school.

This year, we found those bullies. And I struggled to not go find them more than a few times! But we pressed on through, and she continued to do the Sierra thrive. We prayed, we talked, we cried, we forgave, we processed. And she was good. She always is. But I think the "more than more than" hit in a new way lately.

She had an opportunity during the last few days of school to share pictures of herself as a baby with her class. These were pre-surgery pictures. I was obnoxiously proud of her as she bravely stood before her class, the bullies and the friends, and simply said that she was born with a cleft and needed surgeries. So matter of fact. So sure of herself. So confident. I think I was most awed by her response to my telling her that the whole family was praying for her. She very simply asked, "Why?" How God holds this child!

The kids were interested and most responded with kind curiosity. But there was one, there's always one, who was mean. Just viciously mean. And again, we cried, we prayed, we forgave, and she did the Sierra thrive. I was amazed then at her emotional growth and maturity. But that was only one "more than."

This week, we had the chance to go and sit with a family as their four month old son had his first cleft surgery. I wanted to take her with me to prove to her that her ministry is not alive only in a someday, but that she can do mighty things for God right now. I desperately wanted to her to experience that she has a purpose and a plan. She wrote a letter to the family that I must share. It is a monument to the mercy of God, the "more than more than." An excerpt follows (remember, she's 10):

"I have been praying for you. I have been praying that the surgery will go well today and that your family will not be scared for him. Surgeries are not scary. I know that because I have had 8 of them throughout my life. He will be ok.

If you take a look at me, you can tell that he will be ok. He might have some trouble in school, but I have been able to overcome it with the help of God. God has helped me to actually minister to these people by giving me forgiveness, and that has helped them see who God is.

I know God has great plans for your son. He might change the world someday. The way I would change the world is I would go to other countries and find the babies with cleft palates, and I am praying that I would be able to comfort them.

The cleft hasn't really affected me. I just forget about it. I sometimes forget I had one. I consider myself a normal kid. I like to play soccer, and I have a lot of friends and love to listen to music and draw and dance. I love my little sister and brothers. I love drama. And I love the Lord like crazy!

Here's how you can help him. If he comes home with a rough day at school, sit down with him and just talk about it. Ask him what happened exactly and ask him if he knows who they are and tell him that he needs to pray for them because that's exactly what Jesus did. He prayed on the cross for God to forgive those that were hurting Him. It helps to talk about it. My parents talk to me about it, and the 3 of us have prayed for those people, and it's really helped me a lot.

After 10 years of having the cleft, all I can say is cleft schmeft! It doesn't really matter to me. I forget I have it. God made me unique, and I love being unique. I'm doing fine, and I know your son will, too.

I hope that I will be able to help you and your son and that our families will be friends. I will keep praying for you."

The mom read the letter, cried and passed it on to the rest of the family. They all just kind of stared at Sierra the way I've seen many people do. She has no idea how remarkable she is. In fact, as we were leaving, she was telling me how much she loved being there, and then said, "But Mom, it was the least we could do."

And there it was. My "more than more than." I had hoped she would reach this level of personal acceptance and ability to serve as an adult. I had no idea the Lord would stoke these fires before middle school! What wonders await this child -- what wonders await the world through this child?!

Where's your "more than more than?" It's there. Did you see it today? Sure, the car died, but it was in just the right place, where you were safe and could get help. Yes, I know that finances are tight, but you did eat today, right? Your husband may not be all that you wish for, but he tries, doesn't he?

There is always a mercy, hidden though it may be. We must hone our eyes to see. It is in those mercies, truly new every morning, that He fires our hope. Be expectant and know that it delights our Daddy to watch us gasp at His latest "more than more than."

Oh. Did you hear that? There He goes again ...