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My husband doesn't visit my family.

by Ashley

I have been married for two and a half years. We have two kids. We are not having real big problems. My husband doesn't ever visit my family. He actually did visit my dad a few days ago because we were going to get his my dads truck and he had to drive it back home. We don't argue about it, but I mention it to him from time to time. I always go to his family's with him. He says he doesn't because they are not Christians. I tell him when he says that, that all of his family isn't. His dad was recently saved. I think that he could really be an example to my family. He is a true man of God. He wasn't right before we were married. God was working on him and me too. My family hasn't got to know him. Just from what I tell them and when they come to visit us. I don't think I represent him good. I think my mom thinks we don't do a lot of things because of him. Like he is controlling or something. We don't watch any movies except things that would glorify God, like veggietales or Faith Like Potatoes. We do watch animal planet stuff too. She doesn't like how we are raising our children. I understand my husband about it sometimes. I don't want to go around them sometimes, but they are my family and I love them. I pray for them all the time. Thanks for reading. Please give some advice.

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My husband doesn't visit my family.

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Sep 02, 2009
Response to "My husband doesn't visit my family."
by: Lee Baucom

As is often the case, there are two sides to this. There is what I would say to you, and there is what I would say to your husband.

To you, I would suggest that you NOT make this an issue. Continue to invite your husband to join you with your family, but don't try to force him.

If your husband is controlling, you need to deal with that issue. If, however, you are misrepresenting him to your family, that is tragic for all. Your family will have an inherent dislike for him, and he will feel pre-judged by them. I am not in a position to know which is true: him controlling or you unfairly representing.

To your husband, I would say that there is no longer "your family, my family." In-laws are now family. I think that we often have to make room for "family time," and that this is almost obligation. Family time is not necessarily fun time and should not be construed as vacation. It can be tiring, frustrating, and tough. But that is the deal with being family. To your husband, I would say "go visit your wife's family."

To be clear, I would say to you, "he gets to choose." To him I would say "choose to visit."

Blessings to your entire family!

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