No more hidden shame

by Rev. Patrina M Wright
(Whiteville, NC)

There comes a time in our lives when we should right the wrong. There are many women in the world today struggling with an issue of hidden shame. The definition of shame is a painful sensation caused by guilt and disgrace.

Shame is a heavy burden oftentime worn as a coat. It's toxic, dehumanizing and self-destructive. Shame is a state of being that takes over your identity. It makes you believe that your whole being is flawed, that you are somewhat defective as a human being.

Shame-based people magnify their flaws. Read their own shame in other's minds and are haunted by a sense of absence, emptiness, isolation and loneliness. After suffering for years with depression, fear, guilt and I'll be the first to tell you that living with hidden shame is a hard place.

Most often shame can be traced back to unresolved childhood issues that left us broken and scarred. Childhood incest and rape were two events that left me feeling inadequate and worthless.

The rules of shame are be good, be numb, be blind, be careful, be quiet. At tender age I was broken and wounded, angry, confused and scared. I experienced issues with trust, self-hate, addictions and dsyfunctional relationships.

Wounds just don't go away on their own, even after we become adults. In fact, when issues are left unresolved our spiritual growth and development is arrested.

The only way to move from a place of shame to a place of grace is to rid yourself of the hidden shame and walk in truth. Oftentimes we hear about the truth setting us free. The reality is the truth can only set us free as we seek the truth, believe the truth and walk in the truth. In other words truth doesn't set us free just because it's truth. Lasting freedom comes from applying truth.


We cannot live out our life purpose unless we address those areas in our lives that need healing. As women, w tend to not only carry our shame, but we oftentimes will wear the shame of others. If it's not your baggage you can let it go. If not you will risk serving future generations left overs. And I'm not necessarily talking about last night's meat loaf. The kind of left overs I am referring to are those bits and pieces of our dsyfunctional past that seems to get passed down from one generation to the next.

If you or someone you love is struggling with hidden shame, I want to encourage you. You can move from brokenness to wholeness by choosing to journey towards healing and recovery. When you are healed from the inside out, your life will not be the same.

As believers, Jesus Christ was wounded for our transgressions and because of His stripes we can be totally healed. Ask Him to reveal those areas that need healing and cooperate with Him in the healing process.