No Rest for the Weary -- Really?

by Alecia Klauk
(Chapin, SC)

I have a big secret to tell you. This is so exciting that it must be shared. And we're getting to know each other a bit now. We're friends. How can I have a juicy secret and not tell my peeps?

"No rest for the weary." That common phrase that we utter when we're frustrated and exhausted, the one that the sweet little old ladies like to tell us as a form of encouragement, even what we use as a morsel to feed our bitterness at times.

Do you know this one? Here's a typical picture:

You just finished doing the dinner thing, washing clothes, managing homework, balancing the checkbook, doing bath time, ironing, vacuuming, on and on. You even managed to read to and snuggle up with the kids before bed. You are exhausted.

All you want to do is to crawl into bed and rest. A little TV maybe. A book perhaps. A pint of ice cream never hurts the unwinding process. Just quiet, just for a moment, is all you want.

And then, as you take that deep breath and crawl into bed, you find that the cat has thrown up on the floor again, but you don't see it until your feet find it, neatly tucked just out of sight under the bed skirt. And it flies out of your mouth with what borders on rage, "There is no rest for the weary!"

Been there? Boy I have! In a house with five kids ten and under, there is always something to do. It is not uncommon to finally sit down to lunch around 2:00 and immediately get the barrage of requests for juice or refereeing a squabble or wiping a hiney.

At those moments, I often want to hang my head, take a despairing breath and utter under my breath, "No rest for the weary strikes again. Oh well, guess I'll just not exist for a while again. Be the machine. Ok. (Slowly push the chair out and get up with difficulty.) Here we go again."

Fatigue is a part of life, particularly one that in any way involves children. Sacrifice and putting them first is a requirement, and so it is natural that there is exhaustion in the process. We expect that, right? So why does it make us so mad at times? When we are weary, why is it that we allow ourselves to feel so bitter about it?

I have a theory. I'll warn you: it's unpleasant to consider. Conviction very well may follow what you are about to read: it does for me. I think we're too independent.

You weren't expecting that, were you? You thought I was going to say that we're coddled and spoiled and need to buck up and just be thankful and keep going.

I tried to make it clear in the earliest column that I'm really not about contributing to any sense of "do more to feel better" sentiments. I am on a truth hunt and am so glad you are with me. I think we need this truth, that we are too independent, quite desperately.

Here's how I think that all American cowboy independence works on a daily level. Listen to your very common, consistent words and thoughts:

I have to go to the post office and the dry cleaner and the church and the grocery store, all by 9:00 am. Then I have to clean the bathroom and kitchen and baseboards and individual carpet fibers.

Next I have to pick up the kids, help them with their homework, go to practice, and do dinner. And at some point, I have to paint the lawn and milk the chickens. You can feel it again, can't you? "No rest for weary" comes out again in our heads. But did you hear the message of the list?

I have to, I have to, I have to ...

We want to do it all! We want to be all things to all people and do all things all the time! We have absorbed the bravado of our culture to believe that it is our duty and obligation to keep going and going and going, and to do it all with as little help as possible. Did you hear that? We think that we need to do it all, and we need to do it all ... alone.

So what do we do about this? We have to keep doing those things. Let's face it, if we don't feed our kids, they'll starve! If we don't take care of the house, we're not serving our families with responsibility. We have to do things, right? And let's also freely say that even when we're tired, we love them! We want to take care of our kids and our men and our church.

So what's the answer? How do we keep serving, even though we are tired, as we certainly will be at some point? And what's the secret I promised you anyway?

The revelation was so stark that it just stopped everything. In some weird Matrix kind of way, the particles of matter around me froze. The sun stopped for a second. My thoughts and words went into slow motion.

It hit me like a stark, unexpected slap:
"No rest for the weary" is a LIE!!!

Did you hear that?
"No rest for the weary" is not true!

I'm still not sure you got that.
It's a total fabrication!

Let me prove that to you. I am not really the One asserting this truth. Jesus is. Read this with an attentive heart and keen mind, searching for truth:

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls, for My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

What do the weary get in those verses? No rest?! Hardly! The weary, that's you and me on any given day, are offered rest! The very thing we speak like a little mantra "No rest for the weary" could not be any more un-Biblical. It's even anti-Biblical. And that has one huge implication: it's not true. It can't be. It is in direct opposition to Scripture, and therefore is by definition a lie. There it is. There's the answer.

How do we live that out? How do we receive that rest? We've talked before about absorbing His goodness (how's the A-B-S-O-R-B-ing going?) and risking exposure. Let's bring it down to the very mundane.

You've just stepped in that cat puke. Here's the choice! What are you going to do? Here's what I try to practice: instead of allowing myself to say or even think "No rest for the weary," I deliberately say, "No rest for the weary is a lie! No rest for the weary is a lie! No rest for the weary is a lie!"

Sounds a little odd, I know, and I sometimes wonder what my children think I'm muttering under my breath. But it works, and it works because I am choosing to feed truth. The truth, the Word of God Himself, has very real power. And when I align myself, my mind, my heart, even my attitude with truth, I find great hope and peace. The anger dissolves. The energy returns. I may still be irritated or even angry, but the intensity is largely dissipated. I am, in those moments, choosing to be Spirit controlled.

I hope that gives you hope. It sure does me. I get weary a lot. Daily. Many times a day. And I'll admit that it sometimes feels indulgent to give in to a bit of the "poor me" stuff. But the Word won't let me live there.

And so the next time you're tempted to believe that you have to do it all with great efficiency and independence, the next time your list overwhelms you, the next time your kids interrupt your tiny moment of quiet, and yes, even the next time find something nasty squishing between your toes: Remember. Remember Matthew 11:28-30, that He offers rest to the weary, an easy yoke, a light burden, rest for your soul. Put down the list, the agenda, the sense of obligation and lack of joy, and receive (there's that word again) the great gift He offers.

Collapse, dear one. Collapse into His strong and able arms. And then, find this other incredible jewel in Scripture to also be experientially true:

"To this end I labor, struggling with all His energy, which so powerfully works in me." (Colossians 1:29)

When we give up on our ability to run our lives, to even run our days, then we find that it is HIS energy that powerfully works in us and allows us, fuels us, propels us to do that which He has called us to do. We do not have to muscle through on our own strength. Again, we tuck in tight to Him and hold on as He pushes through.

In that safety, we find energy for our lives, peace in our gut, hope for our hearts, and rest for our souls.