Prayer is Not Shopping

by Katherine Harms
(Baltimore, MD)

Who is like the Lord, our God,the One who sits enthroned on high, who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth? Psalm 113:8

While shopping in Borders last week I was attracted to a book on the end of a shelf. The title included the words "prayer" and "praise."� I immediately picked up the book and flipped over to the back to see what it was really about.

To my dismay, it was all about results. The blurb declared that if I could learn to praise God, lives would be changed, bad situations would turn around, unemployed relatives would find work, and so forth. I was assured that I could learn a "prayer" technique that would change the world and get results. I felt that I was being instructed in a method to trick God into thinking I liked Him so He would give me whatever I asked.

I put the book back on the shelf and moved on, but it made me think. There are a lot of people who believe that prayer is about getting results, and many people seem to think that getting results means getting what they want. How many times have you heard people refer to prayers that were not answered? They make it very clear that when they pray (translation "ask") for something and don't get it, then God has failed to answer them.

I find this idea very troubling. Have we reduced prayer to online ordering about which we are free to complain when the service is not up to our expectations? What is prayer, anyway?

How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation
And call on the name of the Lord. Psalm 116:12-13

Sometimes I like to compare prayer to our relationships with our families. Think about a visit with relatives. When they open the door, you probably hug each other. There is a lot of flutter and chatter. "How are you?"� "It is so good to see you."� "It's been too long." � "Sit over here where it is more comfortable." "Would you like some coffee?"

The conversation isn't very structured, and many conversational lines are lost as someone says "Oh, that reminds me". Probably there will be a meal, accompanied by oohs and aahs about the food and the table and the dishes. When the visit is over, there are more hugs and chatter and finally you leave.

In this setting, it is doubtful you ever make any request of greater import than "Please pass the potatoes." You want to know what is happening with your relatives. You want to tell them what is happening with you. You want to laugh and cry and talk together. You want to be in the same place doing the same things.

The sharing and the time together is what matters. Something important to the family relationship is nourished by simply being together, touching, talking, listening, becoming intertwined in each other's lives and hearts.

I don't observe that we often visit with God in this way, and I think we are missing something if we don't. The Bible certainly teaches us to show respect for God, and that respect ought to keep us from being too "chummy"� with God. On the other hand, we are taught that He is our father, and many of us have warm memories of time spent with our fathers doing nothing in particular.

I remember fondly the hours spent with my father searching together for wildflowers and trying to find Saturn in the night sky.

As a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
For he remembers that we are dust. Psalm 103:13-14

When I was small, my father had to travel occasionally. If we could not go along, my brother and I missed him very much. When he came back home, we were excited to see him. He always brought us little gifts, and the gifts told us that he missed us, too, but the gifts were not the reason we were glad to see him. The real reason was that when he was gone, there was a huge emptiness at the supper table. After he came back, the kitchen seemed full of life and love again.

God wants to be related to us the way my father was related to me. He wants to be with us and share our lives. He certainly wants to give us gifts, and he doesn't even mind if we ask for gifts. In fact, He tells us to ask for what we need. But our conversations must seem quite boring and self-centered when all we bring to the dialogue is a shopping list.

We need to remember that our life in Christ is always lived at the intersection of the grace we receive and the acts with which we respond. Our prayers are the conversations we have at that intersection. Sometimes we tell God our troubles, and sometimes we tell Him our adventures. Sometimes we are needy, and sometimes we are excited. He wants to hear us talk, and He wants to talk with us. It is a family thing.

Prayer time with God can be like visits with my grandmother. My grandmother always welcomed us effusively, and set a groaning table before us. She always had some gift to give us before we went away.

I never will get even with my grandmother's giving spirit if I live to be a hundred years old, but the gifts were frivolous extras compared to the rich experience of just being with her. To visit with her was to be swept up in a joyful exuberance for life.

I can never get even with God, either. I don't even know how to be thankful enough for all I have received, and I am very grateful that He allows me to ask for what I need. But some of our time together is not about giving and receiving. Sometimes prayer is simply an exuberant and joyful visit with my heavenly Father.

Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name;
Make known among the nations what he has done.
Sing to him, sing praise to him;
Tell of all his wonderful acts. Psalm 105:1-2

� 2008 Katherine Harms
all rights reserved