Problems with my Husband

(Ft Worth, Texas)

I met a man and we married within the year of meeting. The first friend I met of his was a nice lady... He then needed to get someone into his home to pay the payments. His lady friend moved into his home. He came to mine. We were married. He brought his clothes, and after 6 months brought his daughters things... He never moved his personal items from the home.

On several occasions we would have an argument and he would run back to his home and stay there from a day to a week... Always saying his lady friend was not there.

I found out about 8 months later that this was an ex girl friend. He swears no sexual contact, with her in over 5 years, but she slept in his bed and used his bedroom as hers. She stopped paying his mortgage so he kicked her out.

He continued, to this day, runs back to his home. Once for 3 months after she moved out... He joined Match.com and had himself advertised on there, and other dating sites, as separated looking for another woman. He had many favorites, He said he hated me and he wanted a divorce.

He claims he never met any of the many women he was emailing and talking to on the phone...yet he had condoms in his bed drawer, stating that they were his ex renters. I HAVE A BOX OF EMAILS AND PICTURES OF ALL OF THESE WOMEN HE WAS EMAILING and Letters from his ex girl friend.

She, and my husband were at my home one weekend when I was gone, He said he brought her to clean the house... I would not have know except that my grown daughter, just happened to stop by and saw her here at night and my grown son saw her here in the morning when he came to pick up my stock trailer.

When we met he told me he did not like my minister where I had been a member for 12 years and demanded I DID NOT GO BACK TO THAT CHURCH. TOGETHER WE SEARCHED FOR A CHURCH THAT WOULD BE GOOD FOR BOTH OF US... NO AVAIL.... He claims he is a Priest and was a member of the Episcopal Church.

Through all of this, when he left,and said he would never return, I broke our marriage covenant.

I am so distraught about this. It was by my actions I have to accept this... I gave my life to the Lord in November 1993, on the eve of my husbands death. My behavior was so wrong. What do I do at this point?

I told my husband what I had done and he is calling me a whore and being so unkind... I have confessed this to the Lord and I seek His forgiveness. I, also, asked for forgiveness from the person that I offended.

Before this happened, we went to a Christian Counselor. The counselor said that my husband had behavior problems. My husband got agitated with him and forbade me to go back there for counseling.

My husband's last exit from my home for 3 months, I visited him once at his home upon his invitation and he physically attacked me, in a drunken rage, so I told him I would never go there again.

He filed for divorce, and I thought it was over. In my mind it has been over from the first set of lies... He is an alcoholic, disguised in the beginning but has progressed to a very beligerent verbal abusive behavior.

I do not excuse my actions... What I did was wrong. What does God say about all of this?

Sorry this is a little scattered, and there is so much more but this is a start to healing.
Your honesty is greatly appreciated.
Thank you