Safe in the Father's Arms

by Petra van der Zande
(Jerusalem, Israel )

Ever since we had our fourth foster child, people often asked how long his life’s expectancy was.
I never quite knew how to answer that question, for all I knew was that our very special needs child, except for his syndrome, was a healthy boy. Why would he die young? I took good care of him. True, he would have died had he stayed with his biological parents, but now he was brimming with energy, growing and healthy.
O yes, he would be facing major physical challenges in the years to come, but he had conquered already insurmountable odds and proved the doctors all wrong.
Little did I know how quick things could change ~ within the time span of 12 hours.

14 year old Na’il had been suffering from the flu, but a visit to the family doctor that afternoon, didn’t show anything particular.
That evening however, his laboured breathing, combined with a very hard belly, prompted us to quickly take him to the hospital, where I entered a living nightmare.

While the medical staff tried to find out what was wrong with him, he stopped breathing, and by the time the anaesthesiologist finally succeeded to hook him up on the respirator, precious minutes had been lost. Now, they were fighting for his life.
The C.T. scan showed that the air in his belly pressed on the major blood vessels, but there were no signs of a perforation, and the cause of the air remained a mystery.

Na’il’s biological father arrived, together with the paediatric surgeon. One look at the little boy and the doctor sadly shook his head. Na’il was going to die. An operation might bring some bring some relief, for only then would they be able to see what caused the air. We had to realize that Na’il might die during the procedure.

Early Wednesday morning Na’il went into the Operating room, while his biological father and I waited anxiously.
Na’il survived the operation, but the doctor told us he wouldn’t live much longer. He had found necrotic intestines to be the cause of the air, which probably had been caused by a blood-clot.

God graciously allowed my husband Wim (Bill) to arrive in time. Together we stayed with our unconscious boy, until a few hours later, the Lord carried him home.

Our beloved Na’il had gone to heaven, where he was welcomed in the waiting arms of our Heavenly Father. We tried to picture him, now free from his very handicapped body, able to hear, speak and run for the first time, and were happy for him.
But then, as we returned home with an empty stroller, and entered his room, the crushing truth hit us ~ he wasn’t coming back. And then, we couldn’t but cry our hearts out.

In Israel, the Jewish people have a 7 day mourning period, the so-called “Shiva”. The starts immediately following the funeral, which takes place within 24 hours after the death. Even though we’re not Jewish, we decided to have a ‘shiva’, to mourn for our Muslim foster-son.
And what a blessing it turned out to be. We were enveloped by such love and warmth, were touched that so many people came to our house, willing to share their grief with us. But they also came to remember a very special boy, who had spread so much sunshine to those who knew him.

Having to lose him felt like an amputated limb; sometimes I suffered from ‘phantom pains’, wanted to reach out to a child that wasn’t with us any more. Or thought I heard his sweet little voice, making noises. Slowly, I had to pick up life again, tried to get used to having so much time to spend on ‘other’ things, instead of always having to be ready to help a very helpless child.

Na’il’s precious memories help us to celebrate his life. He taught us so many lessons. We are grateful that God sent him to our family, that for almost 12 years that he lived with us, we could love and hold and nurture and discipline him. And now, upon his sudden death, not only weep for him, but also to rejoice, because of the blessing he was to us and so many others. We remember him fondly, and are happy to know that he is now at the best place ever ~ safe in the arms of our Heavenly Father!