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struggling

Me and my husband have been married for 8yrs. We have fought most of those years about the same things. My husband is very set in his ways and I have learned that he isn't going to change. But I have, last year I accepted god into my heart, but I am struggling because I am not happy in my marriage, i am not even sure i am in love with him anymore because he just constantly puts me down as a wife as a mother. nothing I do is good enough and he always finds fault, he says he is just tring to help me. I have told him he hurts me when he treats me like this,but he doesn't understand. i am going back to school and he gets made because i am on the computer, but I am taking 3 online classes and i sell things on ebay to try and help earn money. Thats another things he is constantly saying i don't contribute that he works all the time and I don't do nothing, but i take care of our three children,go to school and try and take care of the house. I am not the neatest person, but I do try. He will walk right by something though and yell at me about instead of just helping me with it, like taking out the trash. i am at the end of my rope i have just had it. He says he loves me, but i don't feel like it, not when i can not do anything right for him. I have prayed and went back and forth on what to do, but i am running out of energy, I just don't want to try any more. am I wrong?

Comments for
struggling

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Oct 21, 2009
Response to "struggling"
by: Lee Baucom

Hmmm, wrong. No, I can't say you are wrong because you are sharing your feelings. You feel that you are at the end of your rope. You feel you contribute but you don't get any respect for that. You feel that you are doing everything you can, but it isn't enough. All of those feelings are normal feelings.

How you choose to act, that is where you have a choice. First, let's be clear: you have children together. Therefore, you will have a lifetime relationship together, married or divorced.

I would suspect that your husband is feeling some insecurity. You are setting out to improve your life. He may fear that you will move on without him, and he is trying to control that fear by being controlling. That is how we often deal with fears: become controlling.

What you need to do is be clear that you want to work out your marriage, and you trying to improve your life is to improve your life together. Then, learn to set your boundaries. Let him know, by setting boundaries, how you want to be treated.

I have an entire chapter on setting boundaries in my ebook. Hopefully, you will take a look there.

Blessings on your family!

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