The Bricks that Build

by Thelma Trunk
(Vancouver , Washington)

Paul gives us the FOUNDATION in Ephesians 5:22-23
Peter gives us the HOW in 1 peter 3:1-9

Ephesians from the amplified version...says
"Wives be subject ...be submissive and adapt yourselves to your husbands as a service to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church."

You will show your submission and love to the world and the Lord by your submission to your husband. That is what these verses are saying.

Adapting yourself to your husband means, among other things, to change yourself to adapt to your husbands way of life and his likes and dislikes, work disposition, etc., so that you can become the helpmate that pleases the Lord....

Now submission is the FOUNDATION...and from there we can build.

1. Be a good listener
2. Never interrupt him unnecessarily.
3. Make a note of it when he says "I wish you would do so and so" then do it as soon as possible. Being submissive means being obedient. It also means carrying out your husband's desires.

4. Regardless of who started the trouble, it takes only one partner to change and to be able to resolve communication problems. "I was wrong" "I am sorry" "I love you" are the phrases that should readily be used.

5. Don't assume his responsibilities and his role. You need to become competent and secure in your own role, asking him his opinion, direction, and help. Do not let your relationship be a power struggle. Remember his place of leadership is what God gave to him.

Peter tells us how in 1 Peter 3:2-6

Brick #1. Behavior
Your husband and the Lord observe your behavior daily. Chaste....pure and holy behavior. We need to have the same kind of respect and reverence for our husbands as Sara did toward Abraham.

Brick #2. Attitudes
Keeping an attitude of encouragement and respect in all things. Watch your appearance and be as lovely as you can. Enhance what God has given to you. Be appealing to him. Men are very visual beings.

Brick #3. Walking in love
Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 again, with your marriage in mind.
1. your love will endure in spite of trials
2. it won't be envious or jealous.
3. it will not be puffed up with pride.
4. it is not rude, and is always mannerly.
5. is not touchy, fretful, or resentful.
6. does not keep account of wrong doings against you.
7. it will be happy when all is done with truthfulness, between you two.
8. will believe the best of your husband.
9. share your husband's hopes and dreams.

The three key principles in your marriage.

1. Maintain and enhance self esteem.
2. Listen with empathy, responding with understanding.
3. Ask for help...get a buy in..a commitment.

I hope and pray that these tidbits of information will be helpful to some married ladies or those who are contemplating getting married.

These are from personal experiences and the word of God, from 60 years of marriage with the same man...a Godly man I might add.

God bless.