The Life of an Foster/Adoptive Parent

by Pam Harris
(Huntsville AL )

My friends always tell me I need to write a book about all the amazing things God has done when it comes to foster/adoption. I often think I don't even know where to begin, but this time I think I will start with one very special moment.

My husband and I were unable to have children and were faced with the idea of what we should do. For both of us, it was very plain from the beginning that we would adopt through the foster system. We attended the foster parent classes and listened to all the information and were still willing to complete our classes. We were one of only three couples that completed our training.

We waited from July until January without receiving a child. However, in January, 2003 we received a phone call from the social worker stating she was on the way to our house with a 5 month old boy. He was beautiful and funny from the moment he arrived. My husband and I both really knew he was to be our son, however, things were not be as easy as we had hoped. The first time I had to let him go on an extended visit I thought my heart would completely shatter. I called my foster parent leader/friend and she said I only had two choices - keep him or send him back. Keeping him meant I would have to endure all the pain that would go with visitation.

Six months passed with regular visits and it was so difficult. I can't even begin to explain the hurt this type of situation can cause. I wish I could say that I was a rock of strength and was always beautiful, bright and cheerful. However, the truth of the matter is that I am a completely frail and human and can only deal with life because of a wonderful redeeming Savior. As the end of the six months came to pass, we received an amazing phone call. The biological parents had chosen to terminate their rights and allow us to adopt our "son".

We waited anxiously from July until November for the court date. The day finally arrived and the social worker went to court to present the case. The biological parents are allowed to attend but not the foster parents. I waited on pins and needles that day because a attorney friend of mine called and said that the biological parents had actually shown up at court. My heart was racing frantically as I tried to concentrate on work and allow God to do what he chose to do, but my honest fear was that they had both shown up to change their mind.

After several hours at work without word, I chose to go to my car and pray. The day was dark and overcast and truthfully it seemed to suit my mood at the time. As I began to pray in the car, I was overwhelmed by the fact that God had given up his only son for me. I was torn by the idea that I might have to give up my only "son" as well. In that moment, I realized that no matter what happened God had a plan, not just a plan for me but a special one for the child that had lived with us. I can honestly say I never prayed for the child to become our son because I wanted God to fulfill his purpose for this sweet little boy. As I prayed with all my heart, I literally cried out to God that I wanted his will for this child and not mine. As the tears streamed down my face, the darkness literally began to fade from the sky. In those moments while I was crying out to God, the sun broke through the clouds and warmed my face and heart. I knew in that moment that all would be well no matter what happened. I would be content with God and his decision.

While I was still sitting in the car, my cell phone rang and my attorney friend called to say that the biological parents willingly gave up their rights and this beautiful, funny little boy would be our son.Today I thank God he is my child. I have never forgotten that moment when the sun shined so clearly on my face. God's presence has never been more clear to me than that day and I have never forgotten the price he paid for his son and that he was willing to let me keep mine.