The Secret of an Irresistible Woman – Part 2

by Zoe Andrea Onah
(Surrey, UK)

Submissiveness is a dirty word. To some. But not to a godly, Christian woman. Or not? In reality submission is not quite as awful as many think it sounds. Often submission is misunderstood and that is why many hate the subject.

Submission was the main thing that set Esther apart from all the other equally beautiful women in the beauty contest to win the King Xerxes' heart. She learned the art of submission as a young girl under Mordecai's care. Later, submission was the one thing that distinguished her as an irresistible woman.

Submission also paved a future for Ruth. Committing her life into the care of her mother-in-law even though her husband was dead, she swore to go wherever her mother-in-law went and also to serve her mother-in-law's God. That is submission spelled in block capitals all the way. Yet, Ruth was the one laughing at the end of the day when she became Boaz's bride to a very eligible bachelor. She set herself apart from the other women.

The Oxford dictionary defines the word submit as 'to accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person'. (If you are still reading this article, kudos to you by the way!)

Jokes aside, submission is a very desirable attribute even for today's woman. I have heard from many male acquaintances that the reason they did not marry a particular woman was because they did not want a woman who would be "standing on their head"! What a term. However, that is exactly how a non-submissive woman comes across. And these men are by no means what the feminist would term, chauvinists. They know how to spell "kitchen", they help their wives with the ironing and baby care if that means anything to anyone.

What Submission is Not

First, let's clarify what submission is not. Submission has nothing to do with the submitted party being weak or inferior. It is not a self-respect crisis either. Submission is not about leaving your brains in the trashcan. It should not come as a result of intimidation or exploitation. It should not make the one you are submitting to, an idol. It is definitely not about doing the wrong thing over what God expects you to do either.

What Submission Is

Submission is an ACT OF THE HEART. It is an attitude. It comes from within. Anyone can go through the motions of doing what another wants them to do, yet still not be submissive. That's coercion.

Submission usually paves the way to obedience. This may not always be the case but we'll take a look later.

As women, we have influence. That influence can be used negatively - Eve influenced Adam. Or positively - The Shulamite woman influenced her husband to be a blessing to the prophet Elisha. You see, we are the neck. And what does the neck do? Turns the head. But that influence can only happen when we submit.

So with this in mind, submission never becomes a swear word. What every woman needs to learn to do long before she gets married is submit to those in authority over her. These would be her parents, her pastor, her boss and so on. Men do and will notice these things.

And what if, as a single woman, you are far more educated or wealthier than the men you meet? The question is... so what? A degree does not mean one is smarter. Being more educated should not make you out of bounds unless you have tattooed your credentials on your forehead and used it as a rod. As far as God is concerned, all these things mean nothing in a marriage.

The 'S' Word

Submission makes a woman attractive. Men may not say they want a submissive woman but deep in their hearts they do. Why do they like submissive women?

You see, a submissive woman carries many attractive characteristics. She brings blessings because God promotes and blesses a submissive woman. Isaiah 1:19 says that if we are willing and obedient, we will eat the good of the land. Another word for willing is submissive. So we can see the importance of the act of the heart.

When I married my husband I realized I was a little better at money management than he was. My influence was better than taking or seizing control of the purse in the home. I couldn't afford to undermine my husband all for the sake of money (as important as money is!).

Besides, because I submitted in this area, God always ensured that money kept flowing into our household regardless, and we always got far more back than the money misadventures. Submission makes you prosperous.

Submissiveness brings honor and recognition. An aura emits from a woman who has the right attitude. Some men can take one look at a woman and sum up in their minds her attitude. Men can be perceptive too, don't be fooled.

Submissive women are very gentle and not bossy. Their words are full of grace, and grace equates beauty.

Should I do the Wrong Thing?

Sarah submitted to her husband, Abraham, when asked to pretend she was his sister while he withheld the truth. Her act of submission, (remember it starts with the heart), caused God to intervene and prevented anything unpleasant from happening to Sarah and Abraham. God often comes to the rescue, especially if we are submitting to someone who is godly.

And what if the other party is a non-believer and asks us to do something contrary to our beliefs? The three Hebrew boys in the Bible refused to bow to the king. They called him "majesty" in submission but they did not obey. This is why we are called to pray for our leaders so we don't find ourselves in uncompromising positions.

If you get into a position where you are asked to do something contrary to your Christian principles, always ask the Holy Spirit for guidance on how best to handle the situation. Remember, submit but don't obey!

I once read a story of a lady at the bus stop. An elderly lady mistakenly stepped on her toes so the young lady started running her mouth off, showing no respect for the older lady. The young lady even refused to be pacified by horrified on-lookers. A few days later, her fiancé took her to meet his mother. Well, you must have guessed the end of the story. Yes, it was her mother-in-law she had abused a few days before. The young lady lost out on an opportunity to marry a good man because she did not have the right heart. That is a woman who stands on a man's head. How so un-irresistible!

Ouch ... that hurt. Till next time, have a wonderful "submissive" November!